Thinking out loud
A year ago, I joined a company hoping it would give my career a boost. Soon after switching companies, I got a chance to meet my fiancé through an arranged marriage setup. We clicked, and now we’re getting married in November.
When I spoke to a few people who were already working here, they said the company was good. So, I joined the firm, and for a while, everything seemed to be going fine. But after about six or seven months, things started getting weird.
Okay, quick fact: the firm I currently work for is quite young—it’s only about five years old. And unfortunately, HR has a LOT of power here. Kind of like final-boss-level power.
Our work often demands long working hours. So, whenever there is a requirement, you sometimes have to work for 12 or even 13 hours straight to meet submission deadlines. The funniest part? There is absolutely no compensation for this—not monetary compensation, and not even flexibility in working hours.
Every day, you are still expected to complete a minimum of eight hours. HR will never question why you worked until late at night or why you had to work for 12–13 hours. But God forbid you come to the office late the next morning. They will definitely ask you why you weren’t there on time, even if you were working until 3 a.m. the previous night.
And literally, God save you if you fall sick or fail to inform HR on time that you’re going to be late or take sick leave.
There was one time when I was working back-to-back on submissions. On top of that, I travel to my hometown on weekends to make arrangements for my wedding. One day, I simply collapsed from sheer exhaustion.
I woke up around 7 in the morning and texted my team and my manager, telling them that unfortunately, I was very sick and couldn’t make it to the office. I went back to sleep and woke up around noon, only to find my team blowing up my phone.
Apparently, HR had reached out to my colleagues, my manager, and my teammates, asking why I hadn’t sent an email to HR informing them that I was taking sick leave.
I agree. That part was my mistake. I should have informed HR directly.
I immediately called her on Teams, but she didn’t pick up. So I dropped her a message instead.
Oh boy, was it really that difficult to accept an apology?
I don’t know what was so wrong with the situation, but she went ahead and scolded my reporting manager and then sent an email to the entire office, putting my name in the email and explaining the organisation’s rules.
Recently, the company has also installed software on our systems that literally tracks everything—what software we’re working on, what kind of sheet we’re working on, how much time we spend working on a particular sheet, and God knows what else.
And it is just so frustrating.
Everything is now being micromanaged, and the entire environment is starting to feel toxic. I honestly don’t know anymore. Is it just me who feels like this kind of situation is weird and unhealthy, or is this actually normal and I’m simply having a hard time accepting it?
Meanwhile, my wedding is right around the corner, and I haven’t even finalised a single outfit yet.
I asked my manager for one day of leave because I wanted to travel to Delhi. He called me and asked why I wanted the leave. I told him I had some personal work.
Then he insisted on knowing what the personal work was.
At that point, I was so pissed that I just told him, “I’m going shopping, and I’m taking the leave. You cannot stop me.”
I am honestly so frustrated at this point because this whole thing feels bizarre.
At the end of the year, our sick leaves lapse. My five-day leaves also lapse. And yet, my manager still asks me why I’m taking “so many” leaves.
I am always so drained after work. I feel terrible.
I don’t even know what I want anymore, and I feel like I’m too scared to quit my job.
Sometimes, I can’t even feel excited about my own wedding.
And that scares me more than the job itself.