u/EggIcy7695

So my boyfriend and I have officially been dating for 2 months. I’ve gone back to college so sometimes I’ll be at his apartment, or on campus since it’s an hour away from where he lives. Basically, I go to his apartment for 4 days every 2 weeks. He texts me constantly, he’s always there for me, he seems engaged, and he talks sexually with me. But then when I see him in person, he doesn’t even get up to greet me. He just says hi and continues playing his video game. And he’ll play for hours nonstop. and then when we go into bed he’ll play a show on his laptop and play on his switch. And in the morning, even if he doesn’t have work, he immediately gets out of bed and plays youtube videos on speaker while he showers and then it repeats. We barely have sex. Like we’ll have sex once and it seems like he has to force himself. I’ve talked about how all of this makes me feel but nothing has changed. He says it’s because he’s so burnt out from work that he just defaults to his stress reliever which is video games. And that he just likes having me there even if we aren’t actively doing something together. In his last relationship, he was with someone for 5 years and the last two of those years they had no sex. So he says that it’s affected his drive.

But unfortunately, being an insecure person, this makes me feel like shit lol. I start to question if i’m good enough, if he even likes me. My self esteem has gone down so much. I feel fat and ugly and boring. I recommend we do certain things together but it never happens. And i mean small little activities.

And recently I noticed he follows skinny half naked girls on facebook and likes their pictures… That doesn’t make me feel great lol. And he tells me he’s not even sure what I’m talking about when i mention it. Ugh bro as i’m writting this i’m seeing it‘s so stereotypical why am i even trying to save this 😭

The thing is, I’m not ugly or fat or boring lmao. We’re just in different places in life rn. I guess i answered my own question lol.