u/Either-Frame-7148

I've been studying with my books which didn't come with Ebooks. Did the demo test with proctor for remote testing and was horrified at how little space I was allowed. Literally had to have all my books piled up on top of each other. Did a practice exam that I previously got 84% on and didn't finish it (56%) simply from the time wasted moving the books around, untangling the wire bindings, etc. Haven't signed up for the real exam yet because I need to figure this all out.

I've watched videos about the ebooks. Looks like the computer coding programs we used in school where it is dependent on knowing the right word to look up. I am seriously considering choosing the ebooks, but all the articles I find say do not use the ebooks if you studied with physical books.

I've also been using Zoom to help me find a better way to arrange the camera angle where I can still have the required elements on the screen and am struggling. Can get everything in view but then only the side of my face is in view and AAPC states my face has to be in view. If I get my face in view, then the desk area available to me is limited.

Any advice?

Am I the only person who loses complete respect for famous actors in commercials? I used to like Zoe Saldana and enjoyed so many movies she was in, but now I absolutely can not stand her. Between the awful T- Mobile ads and whatever ad she was in a couple yrs ago with the ridiculously awful puffy white jacket, she is now permanently cemented in my head as a has-been because the commercials are so ungodly bad that I mute them.

​

Same with Samuel Jackson being a chef. I mean, come on! How broke or greedy are these actors? And how cheap are the companies that they think a known actor will fix a bad commercial. There have been some great commercials with excellent acting by people we don't know. Heck, even the T-mobile ad wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't Saldana but an unknown who would be so much more believable.

​

What are your thoughts?

I recently saw on YT a "professional" say it was. I am 52. Was diagnosed at 16 w/PTSD and dissociative D/O NOS and depression due/to extreme abuse of every kind from 3 - 7 and then just emotional/physical until I left home at 17.

In the late 80s, I was told there was no cure. Just learn to cope and move on. And that is what I did. It wasn't easy. Was committed a few times, etc but while locked up, I started reading about dialectic behavioral therapy. I had been told that someone who survived what I did would probably be institutionalized forever. And at 18 I was damned if that was going to be my life. I fought to go to school and it was the best thing I did. Put myself through University, and later grad school. I buried my past as best I could and I created a good life. I was in my late 20s when I figured out how to keep present during flashbacks. Once I figured that, the diasociating grew less and less. In my late 30s, I did 5 weeks of intensive cognitive behavioral therapy d/t flashbacks making me terrified to leave my house at night (which was a problem as I worked 12 hr nights). Most intensive but useful therapy I ever did.

I rescued an older dog 4 years ago but it ended up also helping me because I sometimes hear footsteps and I could look at his reaction and know its just whispers from the past that I can ignore.

I am used to living in fear. My husband let me get a security system and we lock our bedroom door at night and I have bells on my windows. This is my norm. I am used to it. Mostly, I joke about it, but underneath the mask I know the world is scary, so I do what I can to make it feel safer.

I am very easily startled. Embarrassingly so. My husband tries multiple ways to not make me jump, but it isn't his fault. I feel bad because he worries I'll accidentally hurt myself if he startles me while cooking. I doubt it, but sometimes it is a full body response.

I've tried therapy during the last 10 years but have had horrid luck with finding a therapist who treats PTSD with cognitive behavioral therapy. A lot say they do, but they don't and if I have to control the therapy, I'll end up becoming a jokester and therapy becomes an expensive chat session. Gave up looking after I fell down the stairs and had to have 9 surgeries. (Still cannot walk w/o a walker.) Hubby took on a 2nd job and I am studying to change careers to one less physical.

So have things changed? Is this disorder truly curable now? Should I start therapist shopping again? Or was YT wrong and I am actually a poster child of sucessful management of longterm PTSD?