u/EitherTap7888

Okay so I have never done any fanfiction and I doubt I'm particularly good at it but I read tons of light novels and end up in situations where I'm disappointed that an author passed up an opportunity or handled a situation poorly. Of course, they are published authors and I am merely an observer - So this is simply my opinion and nothing more. But what I end up doing is setting down the phone (I read on my phone) and thinking out the scene how I wish it was written and then continuing reading.

So this is going to sound absurd but, since I don't know anybody who reads light novels or gives a shit about reading, when this stuff happens I will complain to Google Gemini or chat GPT, LOL. I know AI uses math for literally EVERYTHING, it is not a person and it does not reason. And unless you make it otherwise, it will simply be agreeable with you most of the time. It's simply a way to vent and also AI is very talented at describing to you why something frustrates you when you don't even recognize yourself exactly why it frustrates you.

Anyway, the point is, I had just thought out something that I wished happened in volume 8 of Making Magic, then briefly griped about it in a chat about the light novel series I had open with Gemini from weeks ago. You know how AI casually attaches questions at the end of responses? Well it asked how I would write the scene I was complaining about.

This scene takes place in the great forest of the elves. The Queen and the village elder of that village are off checking on the world trees Chise provided the seeds for. This is my second time reading the series and I haven't gotten to this thing yet so I do not remember the elven girl's name but Chise, Fauzard, Teto, and the blind-from-birth elven girl are all having a conversation. I kept expecting an inner monologue from Chise about why she probably shouldn't attempt to give the elven girl sight, but it never came. There could be many reasons for this, but even considering all of them I am still surprised. So I thought out what I wish took place in that moment. So, when Gemini asked me how I would write that scene I already had an answer, So I told it. Gemini is not a person, I know! But all the same it managed to convince me I should post this for actual people to read.

I am at your mercy. I am going to paste my exact response that I sent to Gemini, without correcting typos or changing a single word. If even one single person who is a fan of this series reads this and enjoys it, then posting this will have been worth it. I apologize for wasting your time if it disappoints you. I have literally never done this before but I sincerely feel like the author skipped over an amazing opportunity with the way he handled the scene. This is happening (in my version or whatever) exactly at the scene I described.

"They returned a greater spirit to her who had been locked away for 300 years under a mansion after cruel experiments were done on it 3 centuries prior. This blind girls grandfather had been the greater spirits contractor at the time that the spirit was abducted and imprisoned.

You're asking me how I would write that scene? I have already thought this through in its entirety. This is exactly what I do, I get really frustrated about scenes sometimes - other times I just see opportunity for better storytelling - And I think out the scene in my head as I lay here and then I continue reading after.

When they're having the conversation about her being blind and having been blind her whole life, I would have Chise ask her, "If I told you I was capable of granting you sight, is that something you would want or do you feel like it would be like changing your identity?"

Then have the elf girl look a little surprised but also deep in thought.

Then have Chise say, "If you want to think it over you can. There's also the option of me granting you a simple trinket that would grant you sight, and then You could try it in simply see how you feel. If you did not like it, you could simply remove it. You also have the option of only using it when you wish, or even contacting me through the queen if you decide you want it permanently restored So you no longer have to rely on the trinket. Just take some time and think it over, take as long as you--"

And then the elf girl jump toward Chise with tears in her eyes, take hold of her arms and say, "Please! If you can really do that, please bless me with sight! I don't want to trouble anyone any longer. I want to lay eyes on my homeland. On my brethren. On Fauzard, and her majesty the Queen! I want to read stories about adventures and gain knowledge from books. Please, even if there's no guarantee you can do it, I beg you to try!"

During the scene where Chise, Teto, the elf girl, and Fauzard (the greater spirit) are talking, The queen is off with the elder of that village checking on the world trees. So at this point I would have her and the elder return and see something is going on and simply hang back and observe. Pretty much arriving right when the girl grabs Chise's arms.

Then I would have Chise smile and take one of her hands and place it on one of the girls hands (which are still on Chise's arms, So basically Chise would raise her right arm from the elbow down over to her own left arm and place her hand on the girls right hand) and say, "Okay. I'll give it my best."

Chise takes out several mana crystals and tosses them in the air (as she does sometimes when using them) and yells, "Creation: Ring of Bestowed Perfect Vision!"

The queen and the elder gasp as they observe from several yards away as a ring materializes in front of Chise, and Chise collapses but Teto catches her saying, "Lady Witch! Are you alright?!"

Chise is smiling and looks like she just recovered from being a little dazed and says, "I'm fine, Teto. I just didn't expect it to take every single crystal AND nearly all of my mana."

Then Chise stands back up (or rather starts to support herself instead of remaining under Teto's support), bends over, and picks up the ring, then tells the elf girl, "Here, give me your hand."

The elf girl slowly reaches out a shaky hand palm down, and Chise slides the ring onto her finger. The girl's eyes gain the light of one whose eyes are working properly as she is staring directly at Chise. Chise is looking back into the elf girls eyes with a smile on her face and says, "Seems it worked. What do you-- !!"

And the elf girl, with tears in her eyes, interrupts Chise by throwing herself forward to embrace Chise as she sobs loudly and repeatedly says, "Thank you!! Thank you so, so much!! Thank you!!"

The very first thing the elf girl ever saw was Chise, the Witch of Creation's, youthful and smiling face looking back at her with care in her eyes.

Chise pats her on the back and tells her to breath, and that it's okay, but starts quietly sobbing as well. Teto throws her arms around them both and loudly cries as well, while the Queen and the Elder are watching. The elder simply has complete shock on his face because he does not know who Chise is or about her abilities and he cannot believe what he just witnessed. The Queen, on the other hands, is looking on with a gentle, smiling expression.

Fauzard leaves the spirit lamp, materializing into his humanoid form, and waits for them to finally separate to reintroduce himself to the girl since she can now see him.

That's as far as I got. If I'm being honest, just typing this made me cry. How could the author pass up on such an opportunity to do something like this? I don't mean to sound full of myself but this is so on point for every single character I mentioned and literally fits cleanly into the exact scene that happens then."