sex as a form of self harm
Im sorry for being tmi, graphic detail ahead regarding blood and gentials
I want to bring this up to my therapist, but i feel too ashamed, and im worried she may feel responsible.
Title might be misleading, more like masturbation as self harm.
I feel burning and stinging even with one finger inserted, but i shove in more and I force through the pain, I have a short vaginal canal and i can touch my cervix, this hurts too.
When im done my fingers and thighs are covered in blood. I dont like it, i feel ashamed. I never feel pleasure or had an orgasm from doing this.
I dont think this is good for me, but i feel like i have to do this, i struggle to ignore the urge.
Life has been overwhelming and the urge isnt helping.
Anybody else with similar experiences or advice on this?
Im sorry again.