I’m 34 and left an 8-year relationship a year ago after my partner cheated. Is there really so little hope of finding love and having a family at my age?
I always imagined I’d be married by now and starting a family. I still want that but everywhere online I see posts about how dating is terrible, especially for women in their 30s, how men only want younger women, how online dating is a nightmare in general etc. And sometimes it really gets into my head.
What makes it worse is the reaction I get sometimes when people find out I’m 34 and single. It’s this weird look of pity, like something tragic has happened to me or like there must be something fundamentally wrong with me. Meanwhile, I know objectively I bring a lot to the table. I’m not bad looking at all, I'm smart, funny, I have a genuinely cool career...I don't think that I should be as undesirable as the internet says.
Is dating really so hopeless for women over 30 as everyone around me says? In your experience, would it be better to give up and save my mental energy for other things?
One thing I’ve realized recently is that a huge amount of the stress, heartbreak, anxiety, boundary-crossing, and emotional pain in my adult life has come from romantic relationships. Even with men who weren’t objectively “bad” people. Part of me wonders if removing the “partner” element from my life altogether would actually make me happier and more peaceful long term.
But then there’s the other part of me that still wants love and a family, so I feel a bit lost now about what to do. Does anyone here have a good experience dating at my age?
Thank you so much for sharing your experience!