Feeling Really Sad
TW: positive test/ possible chemical pregnancy
I am 42 years old. I transferred a high level segmental mosaic embryo ( day 4 grade 4 AA) last Tuesday. I broke the cardinal rule of the TWW and started testing 5dpt. I tested positive, but since then have not had the best line progression. Later in the day, the tests seem darker, but I don’t want to get my hopes up at this point. This was my only embryo from this egg retrieval that I can use. I had a chemical last October after never being able to naturally get pregnant my whole life (had my first baby through IVF)- so familiar with the heartbreak of a chemical pregnancy.
I left a really difficult marriage that required me to move out of state. I am just so sad as he decided partway through our marriage he didn’t want more children and I stayed with him for the sake of my family and now I don’t have him. I can probably find a clinic here (on the east coast and can easily travel to Philly or NYC), but love my doctor and clinic where I am now and after this transfer it really won’t be feasible to travel back and forth.
I think I just needed to write this out. Not really sure what I am looking for. I appreciate it if you made it this far in reading this. I am so grateful for my daughter, but really would have loved to have more children so just grieving a lot of things.