r/40Plus_IVF

Hi everyone,

I’m 42, single, using a sperm donor, with DOR, very low AMH (0.15), and high FSH.

At 41, I went through 3 failed IVF cycles and 1 cancelled cycle using mini-IVF. In total, I got 7 day-3 embryos, but none implanted, likely due to aneuploidy (my RE recommended day-3 transfers so no PGT-A testing to maximize transfer chances).

As a final attempt before moving to donor eggs, my RE has suggested trying IUI, as one last IVF cycle may not offer much more advantage over IUI at this point. I never tried IUI before. I produced 2–4 mature eggs per cycle, have had a 100% fertilization rate, and usually make good-quality day-3 embryos (2–4 per cycle).

I also just can’t handle the emotional and financial toll of IVF anymore.

Right now, I think I just need a big hug… and maybe some hope.

Has anyone had success with IUI at 42 after failed IVF? I would really love to hear your stories. Thank you

So anyone in the US knows how crazy expensive IVF is here, even *with* insurance... We had insurance preapproval for IVF last fall, four attempts. So my heart was very set on four attempts. At the end of November we found out that my job was dropping their nice corporate insurance plan, so I'd be losing that coverage after only two of my attempts.

We went ahead and did one attempt without coverage in January and I started looking for a new job. I finally got a new job with insurance that covers infertility treatments and then had to wait a month for the insurance to kick in after starting the job. Submitted for preapproval again (it's even the same insurance provider, so it felt like it was in the bag), only to be denied.

I started perimenopause symptoms (one six week cycle in March, normal cycle after) and apparently my FSH was spiking (29) when I got my revised blood test done and no one mentioned that could be an issue for insurance approval, so here we are. I've had multiple cries today. I really wanted to do at least one more attempt before using donor eggs because I started a bunch of vitamins in January too (our doctor had only recommended the very basic, I found lots of other recommendations online more recently) and I was hoping they'd have had some impact.

We do technically have the funds to try again without coverage, but it cuts into eventual car and house purchase money. And I was sure it would be covered, since I had two more covered attempts with the same insurance provider. I was so heartbroken. We've been waiting since January to try again, specifically for this reason, so it seems like so much lost time.

Has anyone had a similar situation and had any luck appealing? It seems like a lost cause, but at the same time, using FSH as a reason to decline coverage is a load of crap given how much it fluctuates during perimenopause. I'm so frustrated.

Hello!
I recently posted about how I’m making a lot of blast with high grades, but I’m getting no euploids. I just spoke with my doctor and they said in their entire career they have never seen a patient that makes such high number of good grade blasts for my age (41.5) but no euploids. I’ve made 15 so far and zero euploids (2 rounds).
They are perplexed and have reached out to other colleagues that have also been equally as stumped. They think silent endometriosis but then I’m making good blasts so that may not be it. They also suggested karotype but there is no pattern in my abnormalities.

They are going to completely re do my protocol and basically Lower my meds to try to produce less eggs but hopefully better quality.

They are also switching genetic screening labs to one that can tell if the issues are from the maternal or paternal side.

They think it’s wild I haven’t even got a mosaic it’s just all completely random abnormalities with many having only one abnormality.

They are pretty much going to try it all. I asked about donor eggs but they said not yet, since I’m making so many blasts.

My friend who also is an RE also said she has never seen so many abnormal embryos in her entire career. I guess I’m just special?

Has anyone else had a similar experience to mine?

Protocol is:
Luteal phase priming with estrace, testosterone gel, omnitrope for 12-14 days

Stims: 150 menopur, 225 gonal F, omnitrope, ganirelix last 4-5 days, stim for 10-11 days and trigger shot is pregnly 10000 with 450 iu gonal F boost

Both times that’s been my protocol
Also have male factor DFI 34% and 2% morphology used ICSI and zymot last round

First round: 10 eggs retrieved, 7 blasts
Second round: 12 eggs retrieved, 8 blasts
AMH: .531 DOR
12 follicles each round

Taking truniagen and ubiquinol 600mg daily and prenatals. No alcohol only one cup of green tea per day and I’m at low weight and have a very clean and active lifestyle.

Hi hi.

Just started my ivf journey and man this process is making me slowly go insane and become the least productive person I know.

Anyway- we have 2 embryos being tested and the anxiety is torture while I wait.

Any 44 year olds here who had success with day 5 5AA and 5AB?

Looking for hope and solidarity as we wait for results.

I'm 43 years old. I started IVF last year at 42. I have PCOS,. diagnosed when I was 13 years old.

My first ER yielded

18 eggs, 14 mature ( Fertilized), 8 Blast . All abnormal after PGT

My 2nd retrieval yielded

19 eggs, 12 mature( Fertilized ) , 9 Blasts. All abnormal after PGT..

I have also been suffering with some type of neuropathy for almost a year.. Possible long COVID or Small Fiber Neuropathy based on my symptoms . I haven't been diagnosed but my symptoms are unbearable. Flares of skin burning, pain,.needles, showers hurt. Clothes hurt sometimes .It's excruciating pain that takes me out for hours when they happen which is every week. Stress or desperation when having symptoms make symptoms worst. If I wasn't working from home and catching up with work when I feel good I probably would have been fired.

I'm having my 3rd egg retrieval stims start in a couple of weeks. IVF and this disease have me in constant cycle of anxiety.I can't work out because I need to use my healthy time to catch up with work. Working out has always been my anxiety medicine and lately It has been impossible to add it to my routine.

A month ago I added the following to prepare my body

Ovanad+

Fish Oil

Ovasitol

NAC

Magnesium

I was already taking CoQ10 and Prenatal

I also take a PEA supplement that is for inflammation and immune health that is supposed to help with my flares and reduce the amount of Gabapentin I take.

I'm seeing a neurologist next week and a rheumatologist the week after and hopefully I can start getting some answers.

I just don't know what to do with IVF. I was thinking about doing two egg retrievals back to back and freeze and test later to give the eggs more time, and my body, maybe that helps. I have until next year April until my current plan with partial IVF coverage expires to keep trying. After that, money is going to be hard.

My boyfriend is hopeful and he thinks that this time it will work, that all the supplements I added will help . That I should keep going as normal considering my results. I'm torn because I don't know if this other issue is not helping and I'm here wasting my time , money and hope.

Hello! I just got my PGTA after my second egg retrieval and have had 0 euploids from 15 high grade blasts. Age 41.5. I know I’m on the wrong side of statistics but just curious how many cycles on average women have done at my age and gotten a euploid. Also, did you do any protocol changes that you felt made a difference in getting a euploid? Thank you!

Getting ready for my 9th IVF cycle in July. Over the years of treatments and after a pregnancy loss, I’ve gained about 30 pounds. I’m 41 and going into what I think may be my last egg retrieval. Lately it feels like my doctors have lost hope for anything other than donor eggs, which has been really hard mentally.

I’m considering using a GLP-1 before treatment to help with weight loss/BMI before stimulation. Has anyone done this prior to an IVF cycle? Did you have positive or negative effects on retrieval outcomes, hormones, egg quality, or response to meds? My clinic said it’s okay as long as I stop before stimulation, but I’d really love to hear real experiences from others who have been through it.

I just got my genetic results back from my third round and out of 8 blasts I got 0 euploids. I’m 41.5 turning 42 in October. I’m just at a loss right now. My first ER was botched and I got one blast. I switched clinics and then got 6 blasts the second round and 8 blasts the third round (total of 15 blasts)- but have yet to produce a euploid. I started egg retrievals when I just turned 41.

I really don’t know what else to do and if I should even keep trying. I’m on 600mg ubiquinol daily, have a super clean diet, good weight, basically doing all the “right things” and it doesn’t seem
To even matter. My RE is really hopeful and basically counts this as my second round. She wants me to keep going but I think emotionally I’m done.

Do I try for a 4th round (my doctor said technically it’s like my 3rd round because my first one had such a poor protocol)?
I’m just losing all hope and really feel like giving up.
Has anyone almost given up and then kept going and got good news?? I just feel like it’s never going to happen for us.

I’m 41 (42 in September) and just had my 5th failed transfer after 9 years TTC and 4 years of fertility treatments & IVF. I honestly feel completely lost right now because, after past failures, I’ve always had something else to pivot to or investigate.

History:

• IUIs
• never once had a positive beta

Last fall, after a particularly bad ER cycle, I took a few months off to lose weight (had success with Zepbound), lower my A1c, and also did 2 months of Lupron Depot after a positive Receptiva test (which I had to push my doctor to order/do).

What’s really messing with me emotionally is that before this latest transfer, I specifically asked my RE if we should investigate uterine factors more deeply first, and he still strongly pushed moving forward with transfer. He originally even wanted to transfer 4 embryos, but I only agreed to 3. He kept saying we “just haven’t found the right embryo yet.”

Now after another failure, suddenly the conversation from his end is:

• maybe endo/uterine issues
• lose more weight
• pause and reassess

He also said he doesn’t want to do more ERs or transfers “right now,” and I honestly left the conversation feeling confused and blindsided.

I genuinely don’t know:

• if this is primarily embryo quality/age
• if there’s something implantation-related being missed
• if I should try more retrievals
• if there are experimental things worth trying
• or if I’m just emotionally torturing myself continuing with my own eggs at this point and I should just

pivot to donor eggs

I’m exhausted. Financially drained. Emotionally burnt out. And honestly scared that I’m running out of time while also being terrified to let go of the possibility of a genetic child.

This is my second clinic and this doctor is very highly regarded, but lately I feel more like a number than an individualized case.

I truly don’t know where to turn next and would really appreciate hearing from anyone who has been in a similar place during their journey.

(edited for clarity)

Just really bummed about egg retrieval results

Just had my second retrieval. I’m 41, no medical issues. My first cycle was

Eggs - 16
Mature - 13
Fertilized - 10
Blasts - 4
Euploids - 1

Quality is clearly and issue. This time we had

Follicles - like 18+ but all over the map with size
Eggs - 9
Mature - 5
Fertilized - 4

The rest is TBD. But given my attrition funnel last time, it’s just looking so bad. I’m so sad. This is likely our last attempt. I’d feel better if I could just keep doing cycles but my husband says he’s done. This is so hard.

This process has aged me so much in two years. I am so tired. My doctor today gave me a referral for a fertility wellness program since I’m so mentally and physically exhausted. Then I open Facebook to see my college roommate posting about her daughter’s 21st birthday. And here I am, 44 and still trying for number 1. I don’t know weather to laugh or cry. Probably both.

Hi, I am struggling to conceive as I have thin lining.

I had Mirena for 10 years , which was inserted at surgical termination in my 20s. I was told only recently that this should not have been done in this way because they should’ve allowed the uterus recover from termination first. I had no idea obviously nor did I know how to research or advocate for myself back then.

When I got the Mirena my period became almost absent which was life changing for me. Prior to that I had always had extremely heavy, clotty, long, and painful period. It was truly life crippling. It was only through my first egg retrieval in my late 30s that I was told I have mild case of adenomyosis which explained a lot of those symptoms.

Fast forward to my early 40s now and my lining is struggling to thicken. I had hysteroscopy late last year where minor adhesions were removed. This helped but my lining is still too thin - reached 7.3mm max then shrunk back to 6.7mm in my most recently abandoned cycle.

I guess I’m just trying to understand what may have caused all of this. My age, yes, but is it my long term Mirena usage? Likely no one will be able to provide certainty but I guess I’m just trying to rationalise and make sense of what’s happening at the very least in this unfortunate situation that we have no control over and I’m trying very hard not to get upset by.

I have been TTC for 3 years, had 3 IVF cycles, 1 fresh embryo transfer, 2 failed FET (one of which is an MMC). I am 40.

I had a FET yesterday and my experience was a pretty bad one. I learned that they had stored a two embryos from the first IVF round and both the RE and clinic forgot to tell me about it. They even didn’t collect the storage fees. I was so upset about the whole thing and kept arguing with them… etc etc.

Anyways, I ended up doing the FET anyways. The whole experience was traumatic for me, esp that my partner was traveling for work. I cried so much before and so much after.

I have so much anxiety around pregnancy, especially since my one and only pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 6 weeks. I am scared shitless and a big part of me doesn’t want to be pregnant and to go through all of that again. I am scared and for the most part alone. My husband won’t be around for most of the waiting period/and or the upcoming pregnancy.

I haven’t told my family/immediate friends because I can’t handle the stress of it all. The questions their fear the unwelcome, and uneducated advice.

I dont want to regret not having or trying for a child. But at the same time I am scared and don’t want one. Does it make sense? Who has been in my shoes?

Need advice, tips, anything at this moment. I am tired of it all. Just tired.

Hi everyone. I am ready to transfer my only euploid embryo. My dr said there aren't much differences in the outcome but which did you do? Natural or programmed? Which did you have success in? Any info is much appreciated! Thanks!!!

Hi all. I had recent IVF done and had my first ultrasound at 5.6 weeks. They saw an appropriately sized gestational sac and yolk sac. No cardiac flicker at that point which they said was perfectly fine. My betas were rising great. I went back today at 6.4 weeks and the gestational sac and yolk sac have only grown about 1mm and the CRL (crown rump length) was only at 2mm. The had it at zero last time. It’s supposed to grow about 1mm a day I was told. They said they could see a tiny flicker maybe but they think it may have been my own heartbeat? There were 2 ppl who looked at the ultrasound. This is at a fertility clinic where they aren’t necessarily ultrasound techs and not NPs or Doctors but they do enough of them I assume they know what they are looking at. I go back in 2 days where I’ll be 6.6 weeks along to confirm if it’s a missed miscarriage. I am holding out a sliver of hope but I think I know what’s coming. My beta on the first ultrasound was 4800 and today (5 days later) it’s 13,500. But I know betas can continue to rise even if there is a miscarriage. If anyone has been in this situation before please let me know. I could use any hope right now.

Not because I doubt my ability to raise a child alone. Iif anything, I believe it’s better to be alone than poorly accompanied. But there has always been a part of me that dreamed of building a family with a partner, having several children close in age, growing up alongside their cousins. That’s no longer possible, as the cousins are already grown. And I find myself wondering what “siblings” even means when having one child already feels like an uphill battle.

I want to be completely honest with myself. While I do believe I could be a good mother, there is still a pang in my heart at the idea of intentionally choosing to have a child without a father figure. It’s a decision that will inevitably have to be explained later on.

I keep thinking about the younger version of myself, the girl who believed she had all the time in the world to meet the right person, who had so much faith in the future. There was no reason, I thought, for it not to happen.

Even into my thirties, I projected so little into the future. I told myself that if it was meant to happen, it would. And now here I am, 41, and the family I imagined doesn’t exist.

Yes, motherhood can still be something very positive, even if my child will only have me as a mother. But tonight, I am sitting with the grief I need to process, and I can’t help but feel that I only have myself to hold accountable for not having asked myself these questions sooner.

For those who are in a similar situation, how did you find peace with it all?

I started IVF in February; I did one ER, but have had a few delays (ovulated through birth control, estrogen producing cyst); My modified natural cycle was cancelled because it would've ended up on a weekend when my clinic is closed. I also ovulated super early on letrozole and somehow got pregnant with having sex once on cycle day 6! This ended in a chemical around 5 weeks. My HCG has been dropping very slowly. All in all, I've gained about 15 pounds, despite 10k steps per day, strength training 3-5x/week and weighing my food/tracking calories. We are switching to a fully medicated transfer once my HCG is 0 and I have a full period. Has anyone else gained weight they can't seem to get off despite diet/exercise? (Side note: I have gotten pregnant 3x naturally prior to this, but have had 3 mc, hence doing IVF/PGTA).

Hi everyone,

This is my first ever Reddit post. I'm not really sure what my post is going to be about exactly, but I feel like I want to put my thoughts down amongst like-minded people.

I am 42 and have pretty much been single my entire life. When I was in my 20s I recall telling an acquaintance that if I was still single when I'm older then I would go and have a baby by myself. Obviously I never imagined that it would actually become my reality, but here we are.

3 years ago I decided to get some basic fertility testing done, and my main reason for not going ahead with solo IVF at the time was because of my financial situation. After telling a male friend (who I was starting to be interested in romantically) that I had the testing done with the view to using donor sperm, he made a "sure I'll do it for free" comment and then after further conversation we decided to see if there could potentially be something between us. Long story short, I invested a lot of feelings in him but things didn't really progress and he eventually just ghosted me. I had started to save money in the meantime anyway and I am now in a much better financial position to pursue the idea of solo IVF.

I have an appointment next Friday for a repeat nurse consultation/bloods. 3 years ago my AMH was 8.4 pmol/l and a few weeks ago I paid to have a home AMH test done and my AMH was 9.29 pmol/l. I'm relieved to know that my AMH has stayed steady in the last 3 years but I also know that my chances are low, considering my age.

I have told some members of my family, who are supportive, but perhaps a bit cautious about encouraging me. For some reason I have found it incredibly difficult to tell my younger sister that I am closest to, and also my parents. Not really sure why this is, maybe I'm worried that they will be 'sensible' about the idea, and discourage me. For some extra context, I still live at home with my parents. My mum has incurable lung cancer and has treatment every 21 days, and my dad has been diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment which is showing up as memory loss/confusion. I obviously worry about whether me trying to bring a child into the home is a ridiculous thing to do, but I also know that I will regret it if I don't at least try to fulfil my dream.

Sorry for the incredibly long post, and thank you if you've made it this far! As I said, I'm not even sure what/if I am looking for advice, or just somewhere to try and process my thoughts amongst like-minded people!

I had a 5 day 5BA embryo transfer on Thursday May 14. I know it’s early but I tested yesterday (day 4) in the am and today (day 5) in the am and both tests were stark white no line. I’m honestly down in the dumps and very stressed out. I know it’s early but how early did you see a positive? Am I totally out of luck? I felt cramping, pulling etc. and now that I’m feeling this way I feel it all changed and I feel nothing but I’m not sure if I’m in my head. I was so convinced it would be positive. Please help.

Hi everyone,

I recently underwent a medical TFMR at <17 weeks after our baby was diagnosed with T21 with rapidly developed severe hydrops and was unlikely to have survived much longer in pregnancy.

42.5 yo previously had a MMC and chemical pregnancy. All pregnancies were conceived naturally, including the last one we had to TFMR.

We cannot go through this hardship again, stopped naturally ttc to minimise the risk of another chromosomal loss and moved forward with IVF + ICSI + PGT-A.

Our last pregnancy was conceived through ovulation induction, so I am somewhat familiar with IVF stims protocols already.

Following TFMR, my consultant advised:

Period #1 after TFMR → begin Genotropin (HGH) + prenatal supplements

Period #2 after TFMR → start IVF/ICSI stimulation medications for egg collection and embryo creation

I will proceed with frozen embryo transfer only once hormones and my body had recovered appropriately after TFMR/stimulation and we have a euploid.

I’ve already started Genotropin and supplements and would really appreciate hearing from others who moved to IVF after TFMR, especially recurrent loss in your 40s.

• How long after TFMR did you begin IVF treatment?
• Did your doctor recommend waiting a certain amount of time before stims/transfer?
• How many retrievals did it take to get euploid embryos?
• How long did it take for your cycle and hormones to normalise after medical TFMR?
• Did IVF after TFMR eventually lead to your rainbow baby?

I know realistically that time is not on my side anymore. After staggered losses, your backbone grows stronger because it has to. I had to look beyond this devastating chapter and keep moving toward some hope, otherwise it would have been very easy to give up and accept that I may never become a earthside mother.

Thank you to anyone willing to share their experience, and I am so sorry for what we all have gone through 🤍