why is life so cruel
Why is life so miserable? I recently turned 18. I grew up in a poor household, always hungry, with hardly any friends. I was forced into an abusive school for most of my life, surrounded by hoodlums who were larger than me and would attack me without reason. The staff allowed this and even told my parents I was at fault. They even laid hands on me, which took years to convince them otherwise. At 16, I finally managed to fight back against one of my childhood bullies, as I was now slightly smaller than him instead of much smaller, and I severely beat him. Days later, I had to drop out because I broke my arm, yet I was forced to attend school with it. A 6'4 student attempted to attack me, leading to my dropping out and obtaining a GED at 17. I've never had a girlfriend. I had to live in my grandmother's house with my crackhead aunt, who frequently brings her felonious associates. I thought I was being abused then. Now, I must find a job that breaks me every day for a meager 700 per month, which won't help me buy a decent house at all. All the houses are overpriced, and if they aren't, they represent unhappy living conditions that remind me of the life I tried to escape. I fail at everything I attempt, both online and offline—art, coding, building, trades, music, 3D modeling. When I see what others can create, it only deepens my sadness, knowing they possess skills I lack. Someone I know drew beautifully on paper with just months of experience, while I have years and can achieve nothing. This is a burner account, and I've never voiced my miserable life online or to anyone, as I understand how cruel people can be. One lesson I've learned in life is to trust no one and to be cautious with kindness, as it often leads to disrespect and abuse. I am currently saving for a decent-sized shed and a plot of land, which will take an eternity. I am genuinely contemplating ending it all.