Postpartum Support
I truly been struggling with my postpartum after my son was born a few months ago. I have experienced PPD, PPA, and PPR and I’ve been actively getting treated for it. But being at home has been the hardest on me. My husband is not supportive at all. He makes everything my problem and turns anything and everything around on me. I get told to suck it up on a daily or fuck your anxiety. I get called stupid and a bitch every other week because I’ve done something or had a bit of attitude. Thats another thing god forbid im angry a bit. I cant be but he can, he can have an attitude all he wants. He can be an asshole, but if i do it, oh god it’s then end of the world. I take care of my son when my mom isn’t around. There are a very few days in Which he will actually do something but other then that he’s sitting down, fucking of to gods know where, or making ever excuse in the book not to be a dad. Anytime I ask him to help me I get sighed at. Everything is done with an attitude. I cook, I clean, I take care of my house while having a full time job as well.
Mentally I’m drained. I feel like I don’t have someone that will help me when things get hard. I’ve suggested therapy but if I do he threatens to leave me. He uses my name to hurt me. Three days home from the hospital he threaten to leave again because I didn’t hear him very well explaining my breast pump. He tells me my mental health is a joke and that there is no reason for me to be the way I am. I didn’t have a tough birth, but mentally I wasn’t okay before I had him.
My husband has hurt me throughout my entire pregnancy and postpartum journey and he blames me for the way he acts saying I didn’t do enough before or that I’m not giving out the way I should be. I’m exhausted and need guidance. I’m alone in everything and I’ve shown him time and time again I’m with him, but it’s never enough. It’s never good enough. Am I crazy or is this okay behavior because I don’t think it is.