7months postpartum and pure bf wala pa din akong period kinakabahan ako baka buntis na naman ako! Ayaw ko mag pt dahil baka mag positive feeling ko ma sstress ako
Hi!
I’ve never made a Reddit post before. I am asking for help because I do not know what to do anymore.
Our son is 9 weeks old, he was born slightly early and my wife had signs before birth of having extreme anxiety that she was not progressing well by having me measure her bump and tracking her #s, her body image, the fear of having a c section, and not feeling him enough. All of these are understandable and I try to be as supportive as I can. We went to labor and delivery ER 8 times during the pregnancy.
Since he was born, we wanted to EBF him. We were unable to night one, and struggled initially for a few weeks, we saw lactation, we tried different breast feeding holds, we tried dream feeding. Nothing worked and we were combo feeding for the first 3-4 weeks, breast then bottle and then pumping every feed. This led us to buying the hatch weigh feeder? Where you can weigh them before and after a feed to know how much they are intaking, this I believe was the worst purchase for us.
Since buying this, my wife has obsessed over how much he’s feeding how little he’s feeding and how often he’s feeding. He’s 9 weeks, and we still do 2-3 hr wake up’s for feeding, because she fears he’s dehydrating. Our pediatrician and the ER doctors have both told us he’s healthy and fine. He has plenty of wet diapers a day 10-12 usually, and he’s not lethargic. To me he seems healthy, he is on the smaller side (20th percentile) so I assume that might be why he doesn’t eat as much sometimes.
Sorry for the long backstory, I am asking for help because I do not know what to do as a husband and father anymore. I get screamed at daily saying I’m being dismissive when I don’t agree with her that he’s dehydrating. I am told I’m not supportive, or emotionally there for her, and that she feels alone. And I’m trying to understand her and help her but every time I do she yells and screams at me for being a bad father and husband. I am the only one who works, I work in sales and have the freedom to be home almost all day every day. I soothe him to bed every feed, I do diapers every feed, I cook everyday, I do the bottle washing and dishes albeit I should do those more often. I take care of the pets, I’m up with her every feed, including night feeds.
This has only gotten worse with her anger and resentment. She messaged me saying she resents me now. Because I’m not there emotionally for her. She tells me she’s going to kill herself and that he makes her want to kill herself. I don’t know how to respond to that. I’m also not perfect, she makes side comments, jabs, pokes, and in anger after awhile I snap back during our arguments and tell her that she needs to get help, she’s causing this anxiety and depression herself. She’s not taking any steps to help herself. So I am not perfect either, I’ve also been more or less detrimental to her mental health, because of how I respond to her during those arguments.
Today she threatened to take our son because my father is coming to visit and she says nobody deserves to see him and that she’s going to take him away and I’ll have to tell my parents sorry they can’t see him, I understand they don’t have a right… but it feels almost like it’s being held over my head. Today has also been the worst day ever for us as a couple. She won’t leave our baby’s side because he needs to eat is what she says, she’s waking him every 2 hrs to feed him and is stressing herself out when she weighs him and he only eats 2 oz (he’s very happy and otherwise very normal baby)
She also has indicated that if she has PPD she would just lie so she doesn’t get any help because she doesn’t believe in medicine or therapist. (I think the meds is more of a fear of not being herself)
I’m just asking for help… I feel like she’s no longer the woman I married and I still love her but I’m lost and defeated
TLDR: wife says I’m not supportive and I don’t emotionally help her, she fires back every chance she can to tell me I’m a bad husband and father. I think it’s tied to post pardum depression or anxiety but I don’t want to assume.
I am seeking advice or help of what to do.
FTM 10 week pp and exclusively breastfeeding
I usually take care of our 10 week old boy all day while my husband takes up the 11 PM to 2 AM shift to watch over our boy as he sleeps (light sleeper so we usually have to rock him back to sleep between sleep cycles)
I am feeling so tired and overwhelmed all day, especially on days that our boy doesn’t sleep well or cluster feeds. I don’t do anything much around the house except cook meals but I feel like I haven’t had a downtime at all and whenever the baby sleeps I either sleep (which is not much since he wakes up a lot needing to be rocked back to sleep) or cook meals.
My husband does the other chores around the house like dishwashing, laundry, groceries and garbage handling. He works a full time job but works from home so there no time lost to commute. He does have some time to relax occasionally but he is overwhelmed and tired too and I feel like I cannot ask him more help especially on high demand days.
We only do what is absolutely required for us to survive. Is there anyway I can help him or he can help me? What are we doing wrong? Or are we simply lazy?
Note: I had a very bad first few weeks as I both recovered and took care of the baby full time with no help for the baby, me or the house. I had the talk with my husband and he did step up after but that exhaustion has only grown even with help around the house now from my husband.
I have recently given birth to a beautiful baby girl. She is now 12 weeks old. My husband and I have 2 under 2 now, plus his 2 older daughters who are 8 and 14 years old. My stepdaughters have no family support on their mothers side of the family, my in laws are their only family network. Their mother has epilepsy and never seems to be able to control her seizures for long. Also never does anything about it medically. Since having my Bub, she has had 3 seizures.
My 14yo stepdaughter doesn’t want to live with her mum anymore and has been fighting about having to go spend time with her since a week before I gave birth. My 8yo stepdaughter is scared to be with her mum without her big sister in case something happens.
My husband and I have tried everything to make her understand that she needs to take her medical condition more seriously for her safety and the psychological wellbeing of the kids. We even moved her into a house close to ours last year so that the kids would feel safe knowing we are only a few hundred metres away in an emergency.
with both my 22 month old and my 12 week old I have had PPA and PPD. I have felt constantly overwhelmed since my baby was born because of the volatility of this situation and feeling like I have no control over my life because of this.
As mentioned, my in laws are the only family support for my step kids. However they spend 6 months every year overseas. A few weeks ago I reached out to them to explain how the situation here wasn’t great at the moment and the kids are having a hard time. I told them I was really struggling, how stressed their son is over this, and that I feel like we need their support. They left my message on seen and never responded. Flash forward 3 weeks, and a notification popped up on my phone that they angry reacted my message.
I feel so hurt and angry and I feel like they have shown me how little they care. I am anxious about when they get home how I am going to manage my relationship ship with them when I don’t want to see them at all.
How would you feel?
I need advice.
Looking for any helpful and hopeful stories.
Unfortunately I have now tried my 4th SSRI and it has been 13 weeks total on it, and 8 weeks on the highest does and it has not helped at all. I am starting to feel very hopeless that nothing is going to work for me. I read so many success stories of SSRIS helping women through PPD and PPA, and as I am happy for them I am absolutely terrified I will be trapped inside my hellish brain forever. My intrusive thoughts have now made me depressed, I have super low motivation (wonder if this is a side effect of the SSRI), I don't want to do anything and I feel like a walking zombie still being plagued by disgusting thoughts.
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I cannot sleep at all. My baby is about 5 days old and even in the hospital, I stayed awake just watching my son sleep making sure he’s breathing and not choking on anything. And it’s gotten worse since we’ve been home. If he spits up while I’m sleeping, that is my biggest fear that I won’t be there to help him. So, I just stay awake and just watch him in his bassinet or I just burp him so as long as I can. I dunno the last time I slept more than 90 minutes total for the night. I’m constantly crying at night. This is my husband’s 3rd kid so he’s in a completely state of mind than me and I’m so jealous of that. I feel like I’m constantly on high alert and always trying to make sure the baby is okay.
I’ve been trying to burp him after a bottle for longer and longer and that hasn’t been helping as much because it’s almost like as soon as I lay him down, that’s when he spits up and that’s when my nerves and anxiety are through the roof. I don’t know if I’ll ever sleep again.
J’ai accouché il y a 10 semaines et depuis 2-3 semaines je ne pense qu’à ça. Constamment. J’arrive pas à passer à autre chose. Parfois je dors pas, alors que mon bébé si, parce que je ressasse sans cesse. À savoir que j’ai eu un superbe accouchement. Est ce que je dois faire quelqu’un ? J’ai l’impression d’être obsédée.