u/Prudent-Designer7121

I fucking hate going through hell, doing this all by myself with no one to rely on and no one who will check in on me. The moment I had a baby—everyone disappeared. Like no joke, I haven’t had a single friend reach out to me since my baby’s been born. My family is no better, they call purely to check on the baby, when they come over, it’s to see the baby. I’ve tried time after time to reach out to my own mother, telling her that I’m not okay but she doesn’t care to listen, she’ll get off the phone as quick as possible.

I have no one to talk to. I don’t feel human anymore. I don’t want to be here anymore.

Edit: to the people claiming I’m entitled for wanting support from my own family, and anyone else who agrees with this sentiment—I’d rather not have you comment on my post, I don’t find that viewpoint helpful in any way.

This has been a reoccurring issue with my husband and I. We’ve been together to a while and he’s always had a tendency to “plow over” any plans of mine with his. I’ve never brought it up to him because any time I bring up any issues with him, he gets defensive and passive aggressive. I always viewed it as “one less thing” to make him angry about, so I can keep my own sanity.

Well, things boiled over today. We have a new baby and because of this, we’ve both been busy with the baby, however, I tend to always get stuck with the baby for any of his last minute plans he brings up. Which I’m okay with but whenever I tell him ahead of time that I have plans for the day, even if he says he has nothing going on, he’ll magically last minute have super important things he has to get done and thus, my plans don’t matter anymore—he gets to go out and do what he needs to do while my plans get thrown out the window.

This morning, I asked if he had anything going on, he told me “no”. I then told him I needed to pick something up at the store and immediately after he said he had something super important he needed to do for our housing stuff at a financial office. I told him “okay, I’ll wait to go do my thing after that gets done.” Well, it took longer than expected and when he finally got around to doing it, he came back and told me he had a car part that got dropped off at his parents place for his project car and that actually he needed to go pick that up too. I told him okay, I’ll continue waiting until after that gets done but asked if he’d actually watch the baby when he gets back or was he going to work on his project car? He got quiet and then started getting angry and passive-aggressively telling me to “go do whatever I wanted” while he takes the baby. I told him right up front, I feel like he doesn’t think my plans are important and he became even more angry and passive aggressive.

I can’t tell if I’m the AH or not but I always feel guilty for having any plans of my own. I feel like I’m not allowed to have any scheduled free time and for this one instance where I tried asking if I could actually have my time to go do the things I planned over him doing things that he remembers last minute, I feel like I’m being guilt tripped.

My partner always knows when to say the absolute worst thing in any given moment. For example, yesterday we were taking a drive and talking about how we wanted to eventually move to another state but I mentioned that it’s good we haven’t yet because I gave birth only a couple of months ago and it would’ve been hard because I would’ve had even less support than I currently do.

He felt it was a great idea to tell me, “oh yeah, it probably would’ve been a murder-suicide!” In an oddly cheery voice. I asked him to elaborate and he told me that because of my PPD, I probably would’ve done “what all of those other women do.”

I got quiet and he began to get super uncomfortable. I asked why he thought it was even remotely okay to say that to me, especially because I am struggling with PPD and suicidal thoughts but I’d never in a million years try to murder my family. He began to back track and say that meant it another way, that he was just finding it interesting that other women go through that. When I further confronted him, he then completely denied saying anything at all.

We got into another argument about it later, this time he claims that I’m overly sensitive and if he said it to anyone else, they’d find it funny/nothing wrong with it and there’s just something wrong with me and how I interpret things. Is there something wrong with me?

tldr: my husband says I’m being too sensitive about his joke claiming I’d be a family annihilator even though I’m currently struggling with PPD.

My partner always knows when to say the absolute worst thing in any given moment. For example, yesterday we were taking a drive and talking about how we wanted to eventually move to another state but I mentioned that it’s good we haven’t yet because I gave birth only a couple of months ago and it would’ve been hard because I would’ve had even less support than I currently do.

He felt it was a great idea to tell me, “oh yeah, it probably would’ve been a murder-suicide!” In an oddly cheery voice. I asked him to elaborate and he told me that because of my PPD, I probably would’ve done “what all of those other women do.”

I got quiet and he began to get super uncomfortable. I asked why he thought it was even remotely okay to say that to me, especially because I am struggling with PPD and suicidal thoughts but I’d never in a million years try to murder my family. He began to back track and say that meant it another way, that he was just finding it interesting that other women go through that. When I further confronted him, he then completely denied saying anything at all.

We got into another argument about it later, this time he claims that I’m overly sensitive and if he said it to anyone else, they’d find it funny/nothing wrong with it and there’s just something wrong with me and how I interpret things. Is there something wrong with me?

My partner always knows when to say the absolute worst thing in any given moment. For example, this morning we were taking a drive and talking about how we wanted to eventually move to another state but I mentioned that it’s good we haven’t yet because I gave birth only a couple of months ago and it would’ve been hard because I would’ve had even less support than I currently do.

He felt it was a great idea to tell me, “oh yeah, it probably would’ve been a murder-suicide!” In an oddly cheery voice. I asked him to elaborate and he told me that because of my PPD, I probably would’ve done “what all of those other women do.”

I got quiet and he began to get super uncomfortable. I asked why he thought it was even remotely okay to say that to me, especially because I am struggling with PPD and suicidal thoughts but I’d never in a million years try to murder my family. He began to back track and say that he never said that, that he was just finding it interesting that other women go through that. When I further confronted him, he then completely denied saying anything at all.

I’ve never felt worse about myself as a mother than I do today :(

No I’m not doing okay, but that doesn’t matter much. Lately I’ve been crying a lot and unfortunately, my baby sees it the most. She’s 11 weeks and I’m scared I’m traumatizing her.