How do I fix my relationship?
My boyfriend (24M) and I (29F) have been dating and doing long distance for nearly a year, things were amazing at the start until about end of November early December. He started struggling with his mental health and tried to end his life. I stayed and supported him through it all, we got him into therapy where he was diagnosed with BPD, Bipolar, Anxiety and Major Depression. I went and visited him at Christmas, 3 weeks after his attempted. Things were amazing, we had fun, I felt like I was on cloud nine, I love the hell out of this man. About 2 weeks after I left, his therapist suggested we break up so he can focus on himself. I supported this choice and I stuck by him still as more of a friend. We were broken up for almost 2 months, in these two months, he pushed me away and told me to fuck off. I started hanging out with a mutual friend of ours, we will call him G. G started telling my boyfriend all of these lies about how I would talk shit about him, that G and I were dating, which we were not, G was just spreading all of these lies and bullshit things to hurt my boyfriend. As soon as I found this out I stopped talking to G instantly. My boyfriend is the love of my life and anyone who says hurtful stuff like this to a friend who is struggling already is no longer a friend in my eyes, so I blocked G. Around March, my boyfriend and I had a 5-6 hour long conversation about everything and he told me it was my choice if we got back together. Of course I told him I wanted that and so we started dating again. Since then, things have been rockier than hell. He brings up the things that happened with G often and how it was hurtful to him. I try to stay patient with him through it all giving reassurance as needed. Well, one day he was saying hurtful things and I let my anger get the best of me and I said some questionable things to him, I told him he needed to stop using his mental illness as a reason to be hurtful, plus some other things. I felt horrible after saying it all and told him that we should probably go no contact for a week and see if things can get better. The week ends, he started working 15 hour days and has a lot of stress on his plate, again I am patient through all of this. I suggest we hang out and watch a movie or play a game and I'm typically hit with "I'm too tired, I'm stressed out from work." Things were good again, but not the same. In long distance all we have is facetime, voice calls, and texting. I try to visit but he tells me that its not the right time. We haven't spoke on the phone or facetimes in almost 4 months. Its all been through text. The other night, he tells me that he feels like his dreams are slowly becoming unreachable because he can't trust me. He says he misses me, he misses talking to me and hanging out every night and sleeping on facetime, but he doesn't know how to make things normal again.
I guess what I really need help with is how do I go about trying to fix all of this? I have my own trauma I'm trying to work on, I was previously in an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship so it's hard for me to also not self sabotage this relationship. Do I suggest he and I take things slow by maybe hanging out watching movies or playing a game once a week? He is convinced he can't even talk to me because it just brings up all of the hurt. I don't want to give up this man, I want him to be happy. I don't want to keep telling myself "oh its his BPD, things will get better, just ride the wave" if things aren't going to get better. He has stopped going to therapy and has stopped taking the medications he was prescribed because he thinks that he can do this alone. Everything I have read about BPD it is not something you can just overcome alone.