I (17F) know I'm the problem but I feel so stuck and go in circles trying to figure out what to do to help show my boyfriend (18M) that I care for him
I really think my issues stem from unresolved issues with myself (which stem from issues with my parents growing up, divorce, PTSD, all sorts of stuff with them), because I am just in general like this. With my family, friends, and partner, I just am so scared and feel like I don't know them at all. I feel like idk what my partner likes or would truly appreciate as a gift or as a date cause he also doesn't know when I ask him. I would totally buy him legos or take him to something car-related, but I also don't have a lot of money to do that. I have a lot of excuses ugh.
Anyway I just don't know how to not be scared to take action and have confidence that I can do better (this has been a long-term issue where he feels that he pulls majority of the weight, and that things we do are usually for our or my benefit and nothing is really ever "for him").
I agree, and I am struggling to a) stop making excuses (or even identify what is reason v. excuse) b) take action (I cant see him as often as we like and we have no place except his car to hang out and really be by ourselves) and c) stay consistent. As soon as things seem to get better, I become complacent again and stop trying.
I don't see my therapist until next week and I can't wait that long, I've been so worried about this, but still have yet to do anything ofc!! How do I be a better partner?? How do I get to know him better?? This is so shameful (for me) as we'll have been dating for 2 years come August, and we're going to different colleges (same state though) soon.