u/Electrical_Yam317

I (30F) have some definite abandonment trauma from my adolescence. I've been trying to date for 3 years since separating from my abusive partner. The cycle is eerily similar each time...I meet a man who seems extremely interested in me, we get to know each other, we're intimate, I become attached, he withdraws, I obsess, and then I'm left with an unbearably painful emotional flashback, panic, depression, and suicidal ideation. I guess I'm going to swear off dating because it's not fair to my loved ones to knowingly seek out suicidality triggers... But I want a partner and (someday) kids. I feel hopeless.