u/Electronic-Bake3053

I've been manifesting my sp (ex boyfriend) for like two weeks now ,so obviously there wasn't any movement. I would also like to mention that I have manifested big things before, but this was my first time manifesting an sp. This past week I felt like I was finally living in the end, I wasn't feeling impatient anymore. Like I was doing so good and my self concept was great, it was only a matter of letting everything come together in time. For context about my sp and what happened. We broke up because he was emotionally avoidant during conflicts and we had this one big issue arise and he just completely withdrew and pushed me away and broke up with me. We stayed friends, but he was very hot and cold, kind and then angry, all that stuff. This all happened very suddenly. Before he was such a sweet and caring person. I do think I manifested this behavior from him in away because I used to have very bad self concept and would always think " what if he is faking loving me" or "What if he's secretly is seeing someone else", for no reason because he was always so perfect. But now where we are now I had found out from a mutual that he more or less started being veryyyyy close with this other girl right after we broke up. I would like to also mention that I specifically wanted him away from her while we were together because she is known to sleep around and cross boundaries with guys in relationships. For months it was no big deal and nothing ever happened it was all good. But today I learned more info about them to and honestly it just sounds like they're being wayyyy too close than just "friends". I know I can just manifest her away, but its like do i really want to put in the effort for this guy at this point. I was trying to manifest the version of him that was just so amazing but my gosh I don't know if I even want him anymore. Right now I just feel disgusted and regret ever trusting him. Which is crazy because last year he helped me through so many hard times and was just so caring for me when I was just in so much emotional pain. I know if I continue to persist I can manifest him back with an apology and wanting me back. I just don't know if he's even worthy of me anymore. But yeah thats my rant I just don't know what to do anymore.

So I've been manifesting my ex boyfriend for only a couple of days now so I'm definitely still learning what works and what doesn't BUT I've found something that works really well for me whenever I'm spiraling or reacting to the 3D. So when spiraling, panicking, or just having a really strong reaction to the 3D, I found it really hard just to ignore it and live in the end like everyone says to. Obviously it's not impossible to live in the end when spiraling, but personally I found it hard to keep my thoughts consistent with my desire and it just wasn't working for me. So what did I do? I focused on grounding myself again rather than ignoring what I was feeling and forcing myself to think about living in the end. What I do is I close my eyes and just take a couple of deep breaths. Then I calm myself down by saying things (in my head or out loud) like "I am safe" "I am okay, life is okay, everything is okay" and just repeating those a couple of times. Once I started feeling better I would shift them a bit to "my life is perfect" "I am in control" "everything is exactly how I want it to be". The goal of this was to reassure myself through these affirmations. I think of it as giving myself a little pep talk in a way lol. Once I am in a good mental state again then thats when I go back to living in the end. But this has really been a game changer for me. Now I wanna share how much this helped me just yesterday. So for context, I am on speaking terms with my sp and he's been very hot and cold with me. So like one night we were having fun texting and enjoying each other just like when we were together. Then the next day just complete silence from him. So the following morning I confronted him about this and all I got from him was just that he didn't have anything to talk to be about. I was like well why didn't you check in on me? But he said he just didn't think about it. The conversation more or less ended with the implied idea that I wasn't going to really be hearing from him all that much anymore and honestly knowing him, I was not expecting him to check up on me out of his own free will as it's something he had not done this whole time since we broke up on top of just how distant he had been. So yeah this was something that REALLY made me spiral in the moment and just become very anxious because I of course wasn't liking what I was seeing. A couple of hours have passed and I'm really going through it so I did the exact thing as above to calm myself down and I fell asleep doing it. After waking up from that nap I checked my phone and I saw a message from him checking in on me. I know it might not sound like much, but it was just something so unlike him. Like it showed that he actually cared enough to listen to my concerns and put in an effort for me. But that is just one instance this has worked for me. So I think the big takeaway that I learned is it really doesn't matter the circumstance, the key is to calm myself and take care of myself first when a spiral hits. But this is what I’ve found to work better for me, so I hope maybe someone else might find that this works for them too!