u/Electronic-Green-507

26M. Severely depressed, have been for years.
It's been incredibly hard to find it in me to love/respect myself enough to wash my hair, brush my teeth, eat healthy, work out, take myself out on solo dates, etc. I rarely cry anymore, but I did cry today because the reality of my life just got to me.

I've been this way since around covid. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me, every time I go to the grocery store or drive by the gym or a park, etc. I see people who are out and about living their lives, looking happy and looking beautiful and full of life, and I just wish that could be me as well, but my soul feels so broken all the time and something dark inside is telling me I'm not worthy of such things. I don't want to reach 30 and still be in this state. I only have energy to work, and I just sleep all day on my days off. I don't want to spend the rest of my 20's just living to die, I truly despise what I've done with my 20's thus far and it breaks my heart like nothing ever has.

I only really have the energy to do the utmost for my hygiene when I'm going out with friends, or going on a date (which hasn't gone well for me) and I feel so drained afterward.

My soul feels exhausted, I really don't want to end up doing something bad to myself, I don't want to hurt the people I love and I don't want to disappoint my younger self. I guess this is a soft cry for help.

So my question is, how do you guys find it in yourselves to do even the simplest of tasks and LIVE life every day, and show yourselves the self love/respect needed to do so?

Disclaimer:

I am a casual/watcher enjoyer, so please don't flame me too hard in the comments. I did a little bit of research to back my opinions and I hope you guys like it, let me know what teams you guys would come up with or any changes you'd make!

The dream 11 I saw:

Ronaldinho, C. Ronaldo, Messi
Zidane, Kante, Maradona
Maldini, Chiellini, Beckenbauer, Ramos
Buffon

The 5 squads I came up with to beat them:

Hazard, Ronaldo Nazario, Salah
De Bruyne, Modric, Iniesta
Marcelo, Baresi, Van Djik, Cafu
Vozinha

Mbappe, Lewandowski, Di Maria
Bellingham, Xavi, Valverde
Cucurella, Cannavaro, Saliba, Lahm
Casillas

Luis Suarez, Haaland
Ryan Giggs, Pirlo, Lampard, Saka
A. Cole, T. Silva, Vidic, Dani Alves
Neuer

Vini, Rooney, Bale
Kroos, S. Gerrard, Paul Scholes
R. Carlos, Nesta, Kompany, Zanetti
Cech

Zlatan, T. Henry
Kaká
Luis Díaz, Busquets, Olise
N. Mendes, Maguire, Puyol, Carvajal
Courtois

I found a stray kitten outside my house 2 days ago at 4:30 AM coming back home from work. The poor baby was scurrying around clearly afraid and in pain.
After some hissing and scratching, I was able to get her to trust me and take her inside. Fed her some tuna, and I gave her some water.

I took her to a vet that was supposedly low cost, and I came to find out that on top of the broken leg, she also has a bruised bladder which has led to some blood in her urine, was a little injured in her eye, and had a suspected respiratory infection. After paying $1700 for them to run tests, do X-rays, put her on antibiotics and pain meds, as well as a few other things, I was quoted around $2500 for an amputation and $3500-$4000+ for them to try to save her leg.

Well, I got an email detailing the costs of an amputation and it turns out it'd actually be around $3500 for an amputation instead of $2500! l've called around to other places and haven't had any luck finding better prices or doctors willing to pertorm amputations.

If anyone knows any good vet clinics, please let me know!