Just woke up WRENCHED in my lower half. I definitely pissed my bed and I have to wake up in 2 hours for the gym and then work and I’m disgusting and just washed my sheets yesterday, how tf I only piss myself sleeping with vodka. God fucking dammit my room smells and so do I. Happy fucking Monday
I know I’ve royally fucked up when I’ve reached the point where I feel drunk (incoordination, slurred speech, utterly exhausted) but also experiencing WD symptoms. Had to call into work today because no matter how many shots I took, I still felt really shitty (shaking, sweating profusely, nausea etc) and also way too tipsy to work. Need to call it quits for a while. Anyone ever experience this? Maybe going to ER tomorrow if cold turkey gets bad enough. Drinkin at least a liter of liquor every day for about 3 months
So this wasn't my original plan but circumstances didn't allow me to drink before going with my boyfriend to see the movie "Obsession" at the theater. I'm at the point where I get really bad WD symptoms if I go without a drink for 6+ hours. At first I was like okay, it's gonna be fine, yes I'm shaking and have crazy anxiety but I like horror movies. WRONG.
As we were walking to the parking lot I had a full blown panic attack; hyperventilating, sweating, couldn't speak, etc. My boyfriend was so confused and worried, after we got to the car and I calmed down I just explained the movie was a little too scary for me and triggered my anxiety/panic disorder (which is also true so technically not a lie lol).
I won't spoil or anything but certain scenes REALLY reminded me of shadow demons in the corner of my room I would see when deep in WD's. It's like I experienced the same exact utter fear and panic over again and it really escalated my symptoms.
Made it home and secretly took a bunch of shots and immediately felt better. Anyways now I know to DEFINITELY NOT watch any psychological horror movies when in WD's LOL.
Feel free to share some experiences where WD's made your anxiety 1000% worse. Chairs
The other day I went to my usual store and when I go to check out the guy goes “hmmm let’s see I think I remember….” And then proceeds to tell me my exact birthday. I tried to laugh and say something along the lines of “yeah I’m here a lot aren’t I” but I immediately felt my face get super red. Then another customer who was buying scratch offs says “they call her ms captain morgan.” “Hahaha yep you know it” I said, fumbling for my card with my shakes getting 10x worse. Finished paying grabbed my stuff and sped walked out LOL. Anyone else get embarrassed over getting called out by strangers or is it just me? Any interesting/funny stories?
I was just looking at old pictures of me as a little girl and couldn’t help but feel so bad for her. I would have been so traumatized if I knew what kind of shit would occur as an adult. I’ve wondered where it all went wrong, but I’m realizing it was a slow buildup and maybe little me wouldn’t have been surprised. Depressed, lonely, neurotypical, dopamine seeking, desperate. Anyone else look at their past self and think, “yeah that makes sense how it all turned out”? When did you start seeing addictive behaviors in yourself?