u/Elegant-Product-8623

so i started playing pjsk less around January this year but it got worse after march, I think I’ve only actually played the rhythm game less than 5 times since then. im still really invested in the pjsk story and I lowkey miss playing the game but it just feels like an exhausting chore to me and I don’t know why.

I really want to get back into it but I’m really behind on crystals and I missed all the gachas I wanted to pull for after kana5 (en server btw) so now I just feel ashamed at myself whenever I open the app. I really want to check out rui7, airi6, all the world link 2 episodes but I dont know if I’ll be able to sit through the whole stories for that long. I want to play tetoris and other songs that came out, but I’m worried my skill level has severely declined and I’ll have to grind a lot again which I simply cant do.

anyone have any tips for getting back into the game?

I really need help with this, I’m tired of people not knowing who I am and having to pretend I’m a cis girl when I’m really not. the only problem is I’m way too scared that people will react negatively or just not accept me or not take me seriously and every time im thinking about coming out i keep imagining bad things that could happen.

I’m worried I won’t be able to say the words because I’m just too scared, it took me several months to tell my mom a fictional character was trans so I don’t even know how long this is going to take. I can’t even tell my sister who’s my most trusted person because I’m just too scared I’ll complicate things for her and cause even more problems than I already am. I’m even scared to show queer media to my parents because I know they’ll just say the same things again and I don’t know if I can handle it.

as for people at school, I’m just worried that my gender identity will ruin everything with my friends who I’m already distant with and I’ll have to somehow find a new friend group which I’ve done way too many times in my life already. I’m too scared I won’t be able to explain myself or my pronouns properly, especially in the chance I’m also going to use he/him because I have a (former friend? acquaintance?) person who I’m now distant with but I’m worried she’ll start making fun of me again because she misgendered a transmasc person multiple times and made fun of his private parts which pissed me off a lot even at that time when I thought I was cishet.

and all of this just feels pathetic to me, like I can’t even be a proper queer person because coming out worries me too much. I was going to come out to my friends last month but I was just too scared of how things would change. Even when I was asked if I was nonbinary by one of my closest friends a few months ago, I still couldn’t say yes and I had to lie to her which felt horrible. any suggestions for coming out or is there no helping me in this situation?

so fictionkin is defined as involuntarily identifying as a character right? except i don’t really feel that way about my kintypes and it makes me feel less valid in the fictionkin community. sorry if I’m wording this wrong or repetitively im like half asleep so this might be hard to comprehend lol I should probably wait to post this.

I just don’t really understand how fictionkin can be 100% involuntary because in order to kinfirm a character I have to actively think about memories and stuff like that and if I didn’t want to kinfirm that character I could just choose not to think about it and eventually I would forget. I have to make the decision whether or not I am that character and I feel like that breaks the rule in some way. sometimes I feel like I don’t belong here and that I’m just forcing myself in the community but that’s probably just imposter syndrome lol.

like I wouldn’t say I’m fictionlink because I don’t decide my feelings about my identity or kinmems but I still feel like I ultimately have the choice whether I kinfirm a character or not. anyone else feel like this or am I just completely misunderstanding everything lol?

(throwaway account because my computer broke) ive been kinsidering oliwia from disventure camp season 5 for a while now, but watching the newest episode pretty much solidified it for me.

i don’t really know how to describe it but seeing the episode felt like reliving a past memory, oliwia’s emotions felt like my emotions, overall I feel like the events of the episode happened to me rather than just some random character but maybe that’s just me getting too immersed in the media.

however i…don’t really want to look like oliwia physically, and I don’t feel like her body is my body. so my question is, is it reasonable/common for a fictionkin to be a character mentally but not physically if that makes sense at all?

sorry if anything I said was offensive, I didn’t mean to mock anyone. I don’t really know much about how kinning a character works as I haven’t interacted with the community much. It’s possible that I could be completely in the wrong about this lmao. if I said anything weird or hard to understand just disregard it.