▲ 219 r/Weddingsunder10k
Everything I learned from doing a massively DIY wedding—tablescapes, flowers, mistakes to avoid, and what went right
SUPER LONG POST INCOMING, but I wish I'd had advice like this when planning my wedding, so I'm paying it forward!
I had a massively DIY wedding. Not necessarily to save money, but because I love it. To be honest, I regret doing so much because it was exhausting, but now that I've recovered, I think I would DIY again only knowing what I know. TBH, I had a veritable army helping me, so it could have gone smoothly if I'd been more organized. This stuff can save TONS of money!
- Organize tablescapes in individual boxes, table by table. It would have been so much easier to hand this task off to someone else if everything had been pre-sorted. I had beautiful tablecloths, bird tchotchkes, glass plates, glass cups, little swan place cards, candleholders, and bud vases. It wasn't that complicated, but because my mom and I collected SO MANY different things, they were scattered across multiple boxes. We didn't know what we wanted to use, thinking, "We'll figure it out when we get there!" That meant unpacking a bajillion items we didn't need and having to repack them later. I couldn't delegate the task to anyone else, leading to a lot of frantic "WHERE ARE THE PLUM CANDLESTICK HOLDERS?!" It was a ton of wasted time that could have been completely avoided.
- Have EVERYTHING ready beforehand. From table numbers to handwritten signs—it's impossible to finish swan name tags while arranging flowers, setting tablescapes, and hanging decor all at once. Even with a small army helping us, it wasn't enough because they needed constant direction from me.
- Skip the thrifting for glass plates and cups. I loved finding them, but collecting enough for 100 people took forever and still wasn't cost effective. Honestly, they didn't make much difference since I already had beautiful tablecloths, so adding custom glassware was gilding the lily without enough bang for the buck. Cleaning and packing all that glass at the end was heavy lifting and SO MUCH WORK for my setup team. There are plenty of beautiful disposable options available. If glassware is high on your priority list, I totally get it—they can be gorgeous! Just make sure you assign a designated team exclusively to handle packing/cleaning with explicit instructions. Otherwise, let patterned tablecloths do the heavy lifting for decor since they're far easier to transport, clean, and pack OR just go with disposable.
- FLOWERS. OH DEAR GOD, THE FLOWERS. I have floral arrangement experience and I'm good at it, but I've never done it for large-scale events. I'm Type B to the max, and while I tried to stay organized, some things you only learn through trial and error. Here is what I learned:
- Arch flowers: I didn't realize how HUGE the venue arch was, and I simply didn't have enough florals to make it pop. I should have MEASURED the arch and tested the arrangement at home beforehand. They looked okay, but they could have looked incredible. It didn't matter too much because rain forced us to the pavilion, but looking at thephotos, it's a slight letdown.
- Ground/pedestal flowers by the arch: I built a large base of faux flowers in floral foam so I could easily pop in real roses for an extra touch. You don't necessarily need real flowers here, but I had ordered extra and liked the look. They turned out beautifully! However, when it rained right before the ceremony, my wedding planner had to move them under the pavilion quickly, which ended up looking cluttered and jungle-like (see the next bullet point for setup tips).
- Plan the actual placement of bud vases and ground florals. I assumed we'd have time the morning of, but it was so hot that putting bud vases out early risked wilting them. We had to wait until two hours before the ceremony. By then, everyone had their hair and makeup done, so my trusted helpers couldn't assist without humidity ruining their looks. My day-of planner ended up handling setup, which stressed her out on top of managing vendors and the last-minute rain pivot. She also accidentally set out the wedding party bouquets, causing panic when we couldn't find them or even go out to look for them because the guests had already started arriving. Appoint a stylish, trusted person specifically to handle setup so you only need to do a quick quality check walk-through.
- Hanging lines of faux flowers– these were so pretty. Not sure I regret it, but the fishing line flowers were so punishing and annoying to keep untangled! One thing as a DIY person, I have to learn to prioritize. Just because I have an idea doesn’t mean I HAVE TO DO IT if it takes SO EFFING LONG.
- Systematize your bud vase workflow. I wanted clusters of three bud vases (two clusters per table) surrounding a centerpiece jug with pampas grass. I should have counted every single bud vase needed, set them out on one table, and had the team assemble one style at a time assembly-line style.
- For example: I make an exemplar bud vase for the team to copy. We all assemble 30 of Recipe A (3 butterfly ranunculus, 1 billy ball, 1 stem greenery). Then we assemble 30 of Recipe B (1 dahlia, 2 spray roses, 1 line flower, 1 greenery), and so on.
- Instead, I bought way too many flower varieties. My helpers got creative trying to make every vase unique, which was fun but SUPER INEFFICIENT. It took a whole evening to process flowers and then the better part of two whole days to make bud vases, which is just ridiculous. Because I was the only one with floral experience, my vases looked great while others looked a bit janky. To make matters worse, the coordinator pulled from the front of the cooler during setup, so the jankier ones were put out while my nicer ones stayed hidden in the back because we made WAY TOO MANY. Count exactly what you need beforehand!
- Don't over-order flowers. I ordered way too many, which wasted money.. The morning of the wedding, my aunts saw a literal jacuzzi bathtub full of leftover stems, insisted they couldn't go to waste, and started making extra arrangements. It was well-meaning, but having inexperienced people rush extra arrangements made the morning feel chaotic and overwhelming. I ended up having my sister-in-law hide some of the worse ones. It's better to let extra stems go than deal with unnecessary stress on your wedding morning!
- Alcohol: We hired a bartender but supplied our own alcohol. While it seems budget-friendly, calculating quantities and hauling all that heavy liquid is a massive amount of work. Keep it SIMPLE! Two signature cocktails, and people loved having coolers full of high quality beers and Surfisides. But we overcomplicated and ended up with way too much leftover alcohol that we couldn't return (my planner thought Costco Georgia allowed returns, but they don't!). If you do buy your own, use a delivery service and ensure unused bottles are returnable so you don't lose money or end up gifting family endless handles of vodka. Believe me when I say people will drink whatever you give them, don't bend over backwards trying to accomodate everyone's tastes.
Things that went well:
- Finding an AIRBNB venue space. This allowed us to stay 3 days prior and decorate everything ourselves and save on stylists and vendors and still complete the vision and extra two days after to take our time with breaking it down.
- A day of coordinator who will help with any vendors and keeping things on time. If you're already DIYing a lot, this is worth its weight in GOLD. She also helped with breakdown and clearing things, which made the whole breakdown process so much easier. Try to find one that is comfortable with DIY weddings. Mine wasn't really into DIY, honestly, and her frustration with things not being 'luxury' or running as smoothly as a 50K wedding was palpable. She was still great for a lot of reasons, kept a smile on her face, but I'm so empathic that the sense that she was annoyed still affected me.
- Trader Joes is amazing for flowers, and honestly, if you go at 9 am the MINUTE they open, you can get all you need. I got so many butterfly ranunculus, dahlias, and gorgeous filler flowers. I didn’t need to overcomplicated it with a bunch of Costco orders too. The only thing I do recommend ordering extra of is those real luxury flowers, if your budget allows. I didn’t have enough dahlias from Trader Joes because they have so few, so I went three different days to collect them, but still ended up ordering some from Petal pickers. These were GORGEOUS. If you invest in a few luxury flowers, they do so much heavy lifting. Could do this for less than $500, honestly.
- Bud vases instead of centerpieces. Of course, the bud vases had their issues, as I described, but they are SO MUCH EASIER than centerpieces, there's a million at thrift stores (and easy to resell), and honestly, so many luxury flowers get lost in big centerpieces and I feel like centerpieces get taken for granted by guests. I recommend ikebana style and bud vases to really showcase a few luxury flowers. I’ve never really noticed or appreciated big centerpieces, but a statement dahlia in a charming little bud vase? So delightful.
- Designing my own invitations and wedding magazine. I loved creating a custom magazine because I could include a QR code for the seating chart, photo sharing, menu, engagement photos, and personal touches. People adored it, and it served as a wonderful favor!
- Take-home gold swans with name tags. These made adorable favors. I ordered mini swans on Temu, spray-painted them gold, and attached custom Cricut name tags.
- QR code seating chart matching our tablecloth pattern,, which gave me the flexibility to update the layout last-minute due to tricky venue pillars. It gave me peace of mind and provided a seamless place for guests to upload their photos!
- Welcome sign custom-designed to match the tablecloth pattern. Keep an eye out for Walgreens photo promotions because they have 40% off all the time and do signs and banners.
- Chicken wire photo frames. We featured childhood photos of me on one panel, him on the other, and photos of us together in the center.
- BIRD THEME! I collect bird art and tchotchkes on clearance, at thrift stores, on marketplace so this was a blast. Our ring bearer carried a big nest with a chirping bird toy (he loved squeezing it as he walked down the aisle!). Inside the nest was a painted egg holding our rings, styled to match the bird artwork in my wedding magazine.
- Bird-themed gallery wall. I combined my personal bird art collection with downloadable Etsy prints framed in reusable picture frames.
- Heritage table. I handed creative control of this to my mom, and it was so special seeing vintage photos of our grandparents and great-grandparents. I used Gemini Pro to restore and upscale older photos.y.
- Short poems and stationery placed in place card holders to add pops of color across various tables.
- Custom koozies featuring our pets, which I had fun designing using Gemini.
- Camper photo booth. Hiring a retro camper photo booth added so much charm and whimsical fun for our guests and it was only $750.
- The CAKE! My mom baked the top layer for our cutting photo, while the bottom tiers were faux icing-covered foam (with sheet cakes served from the kitchen). We decorated the top together with fresh flowers and added a $2 Temu "Just Married" topper.
- The overall day was magical. Even when it rained during the ceremony, all the hard work I put into styling the pavilion paid off as a gorgeous backup space.
u/ElfieDiamond — 6 days ago