Attracted to someone unavailable and stuck in fantasy
I used AI to help translate this post because English isn’t my first language, and I wanted to make sure I could express myself clearly.
Last October, I started a course, and that’s where I noticed a guy who immediately caught my attention. There was also something strangely familiar about him, though at first I couldn’t figure out why. Later, I realized I had probably seen his profile on Tinder before, but we never matched.
As the course continued (we have classes one weekend per month), I kept finding myself attracted to him. He comes across as quite reserved, distant, and a little mysterious, but at the same time he can be helpful and sometimes takes initiative. I also found out that he’s a doctor and that he has a girlfriend.
Lately, I’ve started fantasizing more and more about him breaking up with his girlfriend and the two of us eventually being together. I think my limerence may partly come from the fact that he reminds me of my father in some ways—emotionally unavailable, distant—and also, in some ways, he reminds me of myself, because I’m also quite a closed-off person.
On top of that, I’ve had several disappointing experiences with Tinder dates recently, and I decided to take a break from dating apps. I think my brain may be looking for an escape through fantasy. At the same time, I’m aware that most of the qualities I’ve assigned to him in my imagination are probably not based in reality.
Do you have any advice on how to stop thinking about him?