I am 49F and have CFS, dysautonomia, autism, ADHD (just learned of the autism/ADHD in the last couple of years and it explains SO much of my life and struggles). I've had CFS for 13 years, that got pretty severe after what we'll call "pharmaceutical injections" 6 years ago. Before that, my CFS was improving greatly. Since then, it's been much more severe and intense and only getting worse no matter what I do.
I had to move to a new town (didn't want to bc I knew it would be a detrimental move for me, but had no choice), and the neighborhood I'm in now is SO loud and I have crashed even further. My HVAC unit and my neighbor's HVAC unit (which is so close to all my main windows) run constantly and are driving me crazy. But there are also constant military planes and helicopters, and constant LOUD lawn equipment. I am already housebound and my house was my "safe space" but now I have nowhere to feel safe, ever. These sounds flip some kind of switch in my brain and I get so agitated and feel like I just can't be alive anymore while they are happening.
(I should note that other sounds bother me too - like I have to ask people to talk quietly, have a hard time with white noise, loud music, etc)
I am noticing that I'm shutting down about even trying to get better, because I think I believe that I'm never going to somehow get well enough to be able to ignore all of these sounds in my home, and so I'm going to have to continue with the suffering forever, but maybe I'll get just well enough that no one is going to try and help me get away from here (not that anyone is helping me anyway...)
Given the long illness, the medical injury, and the neurodivergence, I'm having a hard time believing I'm going to get to a state where I can thrive with HVACs and constant air traffic and lawn mowers. Has anyone with similar severity and neurodivergence gone from wanting to die when those noises happen, to being able to ignore them and thrive in that environment? (And HOW!)
Thank you!
EDIT: I should add that I'm already doing everything I can to mitigate the situation - but it's not enough. I've slept in earplugs for years, and am now putting them in every time an extra loud noise happens - but ear plugs have their own issues and I worry about using them 12-16 hours a day. The earplugs don't even fully block the sound - I still hear the noises and its still upsetting. I can no longer use noise canceling headphones (they always caused discomfort) because they started making my left ear pulsate constantly, even when not wearing them (that did go away a couple weeks after I stopped using them)
I've also ordered VERY expensive secondary windows for half the windows in my house that should reduce noise some (did NOT have the money to spend on that) but there is a 9 week wait and I still have 5 weeks to go. I expect this to help some, but not solve the issue.
I am looking into having a room soundproofed but I don't have the money for that, and this small town that I live in doesn't seem to have anyone knowledgable enough to do it- I keep hitting dead ends with every inquiry.