Hi! I would love some advice on how to bond with my cat. I'm really struggling.
I had a cat, Charlie, that passed away in October and it's been the hardest grief I have ever felt. I loved him so so much. I still cry every time I think of him.
But I love cats so much and I can't live in a home without them, so back in November I adopted a new cat. My new cat Ollie is very sweet but he is also very different from my Charlie. Charlie was very affectionate and snuggly. And I just really miss that so much. Ollie is very independent and in some ways a little aloof.
I really want to respect my sweet Ollie and let him come to me, but I'm feeling so much grief still and I'm so sad every time Ollie pulls away from me. Sometimes he jumps away from me when I go to pet him and it hurts every time. There are times where he will come to me and sit in my lap and it's amazing when that happens, but it's very hot and cold. I feel so healed when he chooses me and is affectionate but it hurts so much when he's aloof and pulls away.
But here's the thing. I love my sweet Ollie. And I know that he'll never be Charlie and I don't want that. What I had with Charlie was very special that can't be replaced. I just want to bond with Ollie in a new way that feels special to us.
Can you all provide me with ways I can show Ollie I respect and love him and help to build a strong bond with him when he's so independent and aloof? Any comfort would be appreciated.