u/ElleAnn42

We're having issues with demand avoidance in our 14 year old. This morning she refused to go to school (probably because she had not completed her homework). She was literally sitting on her bed, completely mute and unmoving. She refused to get dressed or make any movement towards making the bus. She missed the bus and remained sitting on her bed, eyes open and not responding to anything- positive or negative, threat or encouragement.

Finally, I had to bring our little one to daycare. I left the oldest at home because I cannot physically force her to get dressed and go to school. I scheduled an emergency virtual appointment with her therapist, who managed to get her to talk, worked through a plan for the day, and I took an early lunch from my WFH job and drove the 14 year old to school. When she was finally willing to talk, she said that she was overwhelmed. That much was obvious... she didn't do her homework and nobody wants to go to school if they didn't do their homework (despite all of the supports in place that we can think of and taking away her phone and library book last night to try to help her focus on her work. Her phone is locked down to just texts and Spotify and is locked from working after 11pm).

She's in therapy every other week. She is on an ADHD medication, with an appointment tomorrow with her psychiatrist (scheduled weeks ago) to discuss a dosage change. She has a 504 for anxiety and ADHD. It's in her 504 that she can ask for extra time on assignments. The supports are there.

She pulled the same thing at the end of the year last year and was at risk of failing 8th grade. She had to return to the middles school for almost a week to make up work that she hadn't completed. Right after that, she started a new ADHD med. She did really well during an optional summer school class that she signed herself up for and got into advanced math for this year, and she joined the cross country team and is getting more exercise which had improved her mood a lot. Plus the ADHD meds have been working (at least over the summer during summer school), though we think she needs a small dosage increase.

We're less than two weeks into the school year and I am worried that 9th grade will be a repeat of 8th grade. When she goes catatonic, she sits on her bed and won't talk and won't make any movements towards getting up and going to school. I find it really triggering and I'm absolutely furious with her when she does this because it feels incredibly manipulative. She has a history over the past couple of years of pretending to have autism (hand flapping, meltdowns, etc.), but we had her evaluated and she is not autistic.

What am I supposed to do when my kid won't talk, won't move, and refuses to go to school? I am glad the therapist was able to help today, but I don't have the money for a ton of extra copays. Does anyone have any experience with this and have ideas that work?

We have a trip to Minnesota planned for two weeks from now. We live in Illinois and have a circle tour road trip planned, but no reservations are booked.

We're hoping the fires are extinguished and we can go with our original plan, but we need a Plan B considering how bad the air quality is. It's a huge migraine trigger for me.

Any road trip recommendations? We're a family of 4 with a 5 year old, a 14 year old, and two adults. We have 10 days and need to be back home for the oldest kid to do high school orientation. We'd rather go north/west and we like nature, animals, caves, waterfalls, wineries and breweries, historic sites, museums, water parks, and dislike crowds. The budget is flexible and we're open to a trip where we make two or three multiday stops and head home, a trip where we drive no more than 4 hours per leg and are at a different hotel every night, or a trip where we drive up to 14 hours one way, spend 6 or 7 days in an area, and then head home over a couple of days.

What would you do?

Blue Cross Blue Shield sent me two checks intended for providers, totaling over $300. One was supposed to go to our daughter’s therapist and the other to my other daughter’s endocrinologist. I paid my copays directly to the providers. The statements say “We have issued $x to you separately, not your provider. The Amount You May Owe the Provider does not include this amount. Ask the provider what you may owe.” We already paid the amount we owe, which was $40 for each appointment. The statements with the checks are itemized and these checks were clearly meant for the providers.

We have had this insurance for over three years and they have never sent a similar check. We had a copay refunded once by a provider.

I am reluctant to call because my time is valuable, but I also want our providers (especially the therapist who is an angel and it’s hard to find one who takes insurance) to get paid.

Thoughts? I’m 100% certain that this is not our money.