What is going on? Interested or not?
Is he interested or not? Is it only validation for him or something more? Is he hesitating to pursue me cause I’m not skinny? Is he a avoidant or just being friendly?
A little about me that might help analysing the story: My whole life men have been quite quiet around me & then some common friend tells me that so & so have had a crush on me for months or even years. I’m a Scandinavian blonde & I did my first model job as a child but right now I am in a middle of a glow up cause I’m far from skinny like I used to be & I’m planing to go back to modeling in the end of the year so my life is all workouts rn.
Story:
In the end of last year I started to work at a customer service. In the beginning I didn’t think much of this guy at my work mostly because I had another guy in my orbit but with time we started to talk more & chat on Teams during days working from home or when both were in the office (we sat 20 meters apart). We are both single & one time talked about the dating world & he said ”It is difficult” but didn’t want to elaborate further. He also said that he is “taking things really slowly”. Since we are both artists & both write poetry we started to talk more about our art the next day he gave me a copy of his published poetry. This is were I really started to have an interest for him & it opened my eyes to his depth. In our work we have to go to each others desks & double check a lot of info but I noticed from the start of me working in this workplace that when ever I had a question & this colleague came to my desk to help he stood further away then when he helped anyone else. He also always looked down into the floor when we spoke.
We have the same humour & laugh at the same dirty jokes that our other colleagues don’t get or don’t think is funny. He started coming over to my desk to show me dirty memes on his phone & I showed him memes on my phone. I noticed him staring at me & I started to answer his looks & smile. When we talked at work we were always looking deep into each others eyes. The energy was so electric that some days I walked another way to my desk cause it was to much to go past his. One time we were talking about absolutely nothing (we have a lot of conversations about basically nothing, it’s the talking that counts) when another colleague (she is married but they talked a lot at work because they sat next to each other. Let’s call her Tina) said hi but we where so deep into looking into each others eyes that none of us gave her a reply until she shouted his name. I said sorry but that we were busy with an important convo & she said “ You talk about nothing!”. He didn’t say anything (he is often more silent in those situations) but smiled. Time went by & then one day I heard him talking to Tina about a random girl he fucked & that he thought she was pretty. He definitely knew I was hearing him. I felt so confused but told myself to let it go & just keep focus on my glow up. He stopped showing me memes & stopped coming to my desk but we still talked at work.
After a few weeks we changed seats at work (we got the new spots in a email weeks prior) & we are now sitting closer then before, maybe 5 meters apart. On moving day he acted surprised & said “Oh yeah, we are sitting closer to each other”. I looked at him smiling & said “yeah, I think it’s great but I’m not so sure about that (pointing to another seat where a very dominant colleague would now be sitting close) & he looked at me saying “You don’t have to worry about that. You are not someone who needs to worry about things like that” trying to encourage me.
After another week or so he started coming to my desk again, showing me memes & everything went back to how it was before. Sometimes when we talk as a group of people at work he is using examples saying my name & turning to me like “yeah, that is what you said …” trying to include me in the conversation. He remembers details about my life that I said multiple months ago & refers to them when we talk.
When I work from home I have told myself not to write to him in the chat cause I feel so confused by his energy but he have initiated contact all the past weeks but one time he started by writing that he saw a girl with a good ass through his window. I have never been so confused. Recently it was his birthday & I had collected money from whoever wanted to ship in at work to get him something & when he came to work I had wrapped his whole desk in wrapping paper with balloons & ribbons & gave him a goodie bag from the deli that he loves. He was overwhelmed & said “Did you do this?”. I said yeah & smiled & he gave me a hug. He laughed & acted shocked & after a few minutes he said again while looking into the floor “So you did this?”.
The day after I was working from home & I told myself not to write to him. He wrote to me & thanked me again for his goodie bag & we talked about a birthday trip he was going to do with his cousin. I though I was going to wish him a good trip & to see what he would say I wrote “I hope you have a lovely time, that your girlfriend spoils you & that you have a lovely time”. He answered “Girlfriend? There is no official gf but maybe you manifested something for my trip”. I pretended like nothing & we just kept taking about this cute dog in a meme that he looks like. Again, I feel confused. What is going on?