

Title: I read the Book of Daniel, tried red lentil soup, and accidentally wrote a bean rap (parody)
Hi! I'm Japanese, and this is my first Reddit post.
I tried making bean soup like Daniel.
It was so good that I wrote a poem about it. 😼👍✨
BEANS FOREVER
I'm Daniel, I love beans
King's meat? No thanks
King's wine? No thanks
Give me lentils — I'm good
Ten days? Easy
Then the palace cook makes bean soup
...damn, this is good
I want a second bowl
But I resist
Asceticism
Daniel style 😼👍✨
Gabriel: “YOU CAN JUST EAT ANOTHER BOWL!!!”
Kings fall
Kingdoms crumble
But broken beans?
Even better
Dry beans last longer
Second-day beans taste better
BEANS FOREVER 😼👍✨
Gabriel: “STOP COMPARING KINGDOMS TO FOOD!!!”
MENE...
MENE...
TEKEL...
PARSIN...
...and BEANS 😼
Gabriel: “THAT WAS NOT WRITTEN THERE!!!”
King: “What does BEANS mean?”
Daniel: “Emergency food storage.”
King: “Can my kingdom be saved?”
Daniel: “Probably not.”
King: “The beans?”
Daniel: “Soak them overnight.”
Gabriel: “STOP!!!”
Always keep beans in your pocket
If your pocket is empty?
Check the hat 😼👍✨
Gabriel: “WHY ARE THERE BEANS IN YOUR HAT?!”
Lion: “I want meat.”
Daniel: “Beans have protein 😼”
Lion: “I AM A LION.”
Centuries later—
Jesus: “As spoken of by the prophet Daniel—”
Daniel: 😼🤝
Gabriel: “HE MENTIONED YOU!!!”
Jesus talks about the mustard seed
Daniel: “Mustard... on beans... 😼”
Gabriel: “STOP TURNING THEOLOGY INTO DINNER!!!”
...
Then one day
I died
The kings are gone
The kingdoms are gone
The streets I knew are dust
But somewhere in the future
Someone still puts a pot on the fire
Cooks lentils
Takes a bite
And smiles
Maybe I'm not really alone
Kingdoms have an ending
Lives have an ending
But now I finally understand...
BEANS
HAVE
NO
END 😼👍✨
Gabriel: “I NEVER SAID THAT!!!”
Believe in God...
Gabriel: “...yes.”
...and BEANS 😼👍✨
Gabriel: “STOP ADDING THINGS TO THE END!!!”
Hey...
Yo...
BEANS FOREVER 😼👍✨
I'm using a translator, so please forgive any awkward English!