What does support from your partner look like?
I have medical trauma from a difficult hospital experience. It's been 3 years but you know it feels like last week.
I'm on medications. I'm going to therapy when I can afford it. I've built up my self care with friends and hobbies. I've cut back on alcohol, lost 20+ pounds. It's still hard every day.
But I'm so lonely in this. Everything I've done to help myself I've found, worked on, and executed by myself.
My husband is an "I don't know what to say so I'll say nothing" guy. He says he wants to help me but I think it honestly makes him uncomfortable. That's probably unfairly simplifying things for the purpose of this post. He's a great dad with our toddler, gives me hugs, encourages me to get out of the house.
But he never asks about it. We've never discussed the details. He's not involved in my medications or therapy. He didn't insist I get help when I needed it years ago, doesn't say "You're strong, you can do this, get up" when I'm crying through a panic attack. It's silent hugs.
Am I wrong for wishing he'd be more involved?
I've told him it feels like he's not interested and I have to pretend I'm okay around him. That I wish he'd ask about it. When I went to the ER with chest pains and they said it was a panic attack, he told me to stay in bed the rest of the day but the next morning it was business as usual and we never mentioned it again.
I'm building up so much resentment. I think I need the tough love, the loud cheerleading. I know it's up to me to work on myself, but do I have to feel so lonely in the process?
Please no DMs.