For a very long time I assumed that I'd always be single. I was incel adjacent in the sense that I felt quite hopeless and a little resentful that I wasn't able to find a partner, but I was never hateful of woman. That said, I'd mostly accepted it and it didn't bother me that much. I've always been introverted so I was okay with the idea of being alone, for the most part.
At some point though (At around 22 years old) I met someone online and started a long-term relationship. It began long-distance as she was from another country, but eventually she did move to my country after a few years of dating online. Altogether our relationship lasted about 6 years or so before we broke up about half a year ago.
But the problem is that I haven't just returned to that old mindset of being comfortable with the idea of being alone, because now I've experienced what I've been missing. I feel extremely intimacy starved and wish I could just go back to not caring. Since the break up, it took me an extremely long time to get over my ex, and I think I finally have, but now the issue is that I don't think I'll get over being single.
And I do strongly believe that I won't find another relationship. The first one was genuinely a miracle that it ever happened, so I don't see it happening again - for many reasons that I do believe are fully understandable.