u/ElvenRae

So as the title says, this is a persistent obsession I've had since I was young, and it goes away for a few years but then comes back. Since it's existential in nature and actively invokes true fear and panic attacks in me, I have a hard time with just sitting with the thoughts or "acceptance and let go". I will try to engage in grounding (cold water, phone a friend, pressure, going outside) but once the thought even slightly takes hold in the back of my mind it triggers a derealization episode that makes grounding harder. Literally all I've been able to do is distraction to try and avoid the thoughts entirely. Even talking about the thoughts in detail will trigger a high scale panic attack.

Does anyone have any tips or tricks for how to stop giving an obsession power when by nature its rooted in uncertainty and entropy?

Also, for reference, I don't currently have the resources to get access to a therapist as much as I really want one right now. I don't have medical insurance, but understand once I do I will be returning to therapy. This is more of a tool to get out of this episode because its actively affecting my quality of life. I've been having to rely on my anti anxiety medication for really bad episodes. I appreciate any insight!!

So i have a few issues with my feet and they arent entirely inflexible but I tend to have a lot of pain. Ive gone to several podiatrist before, had PT etc. I just haven't been able to go again recently to get a check up.

I have plantar fasciaitis in my left foot, heel spurs in both, i believe my right arch is nearly completely collapsed and my left is close behind. Im also a bit susceptible to tendinitis since the heel spurs developed.

I use Hokas with extra padding and custom orthotics, and Hoka recovery slides in the house to reduce pressure. I also am fighting calluses to no avail.

My range of motion is poor and if I point my toes long enough ill get a Charlie horse, and I cant flex them far enough to do a deep squat.

Does anyone have any advice to alleviate the pain/ increase mobility and strength in the feet? Its affecting my gait, my stamina, etc and im desperate for relief