Here is a bit of a back story to start:
So I am Canadian girl (24F) and met a guy from Germany (31M) in Cuba back in October 2024. We really hit it off, and at the time I had JUST got out of a toxic long term (6 year) relationship..so I guess you could say I was a bit lovestruck and seeking something better. But I really feel like I rushed into the relationship and especially rushed into moving to Germany and restarting my whole life, just for this man.
We did long distance for a little while (I have never done long distance before this) but I couldn’t really handle it anymore, so I packed my things and my dog and decided to move to Germany in December 2025. We have been together for a year and a half.
Here we are now…and I am having some uncertainty and “cold feet.” Now that I have been living with him, things feel different.
He has changed a lot since I met him, he is lazy, unmotivated, his hygiene has gone downhill, he is very immature, and I am starting to notice we have different values/interests. Also his financial situation makes me very nervous, he just quit his really good job of 7 years and is now self-employed and barely getting by.
He is going to be 32 this year and I just turned 24, so I also think we are in different places/stages in our lives. I want to explore the world, gain some more independence, and live for myself for once (I have never lived alone🥴)…and he wants to settle down and start a family (he has already travelled immensely).
He is truly a good guy, he is kind and has a good heart, and he treats my dog as if she was his own. But I really don’t see us being together in the future.
I have never really ended things with someone before, and I just need some advice, pep talks, and help with what to do. I really don’t want to hurt him, and this is not an easy thing to do when I am across the world from my support systems. Plus, I am living in his apartment with him so that makes things a lot harder too.
If any of you can help me in anyway I would appreciate it so much…I’m having a really hard time at the moment🥺😢