u/Embarrassed-Day-604

​Yes, I acted foolishly towards your support and to myself. But the door of repentance is always open, and I have stepped through it.Tawakkul is, after all, what is expected of a believer. ​Tonight, my lower nafs tried to trick me by whispering, "Hey, remember that thing you watched last? Just check if they posted a new video, we're only going to take a quick look." That temptation is what brought me here instead.

Insallah you guys are all doing well too unlike me.

There is no might and no power except by Allah.

Yeah after two days I relapsed again. It came from looking arguments aganist Islam, its completely my fault. I shouldnt busy my throughts with problems I cant solve. Anyways, satan loves someone who loses hope getting rid of sins but when the hymns of resurrection are played, the he goes mad. So in opposition to him, I praise Allah for not astraying me even throught I have did that sin over and over again. Let me repeat my vow, I will keep fighting and remember the fate of my life depends on how I act with the urges today.

Nofap Goal: 0/3

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Yeah, we're back to where we started. I am too weak to stress. Hopefully, it goes better this time.

Nofap Goal

⬜️⬜️⬜️ 0/3

NoGaming Goal

⬜️⬜️⬜️ 0/3

Experiencing issues with family creates 10x more stress than regular day to day problems, seriously. It is what it is for now, but the important thing is not giving in to the aftermath. I’ve already promised myself that I’ll always pick myself back up, no matter what.

Nofap Goal: 🟩🟩🟩 3/3✅️

🟩🟥⬜️⬜️⬜️ 0/3

NoGaming Goal 4/5

🟩🟩🟩🟩⬜️

NoWebSurfing Goal

⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 0/5

NoCommenting Goal:

⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 0/5

Things are going well, but I noticed that arguing with people online is seriously draining my mental health and giving me anxiety, mostly because of how hostile people can be. ​Because of this, I’m going fully silent and won't be responding to any comments from here on out. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. Wishing the absolute best for everyone.

Nofap Goal:

🟩🟩🟩 3/3✅️

🟩⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️1/5

NoGaming Goal 4/5

🟩🟩🟩🟩⬜️

NoSocialMedia Goal ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 0/5

NoArguingPeople 0/5 ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️0/5

Today wasn't much different from yesterday, but my anxiety about my classes still had me stressed for half the day. On top of that, I realized I severely lack hobbies since I'm home 7/24. ​I’d love to hear any recommendations or ideas you guys might have.

Nofap Goal: 2/3 🟩🟩⬜️ Nogaming goal: 2/5 🟩🟩⬜️⬜️⬜️

The writer, Said Nursi was an influential 20th-century Islamic scholar. ​He is best known for authoring the Risale-i Nur, a extensive commentary that explains Qur'anic faith through reason and science. ​His teachings advocate for combining modern science with religious education to strengthen individual faith.
​The Old Said relied on politics and philosophy to serve Islam, while the New Said abandoned worldly ambitions to focus entirely on faith and the Quran.

"0 man who worships this world, is the lover of worldly life, and is heedless of the meaning of 'the most excellent of patterns'! The Old Said saw the reality of worldly life in a vision. It transformed him into the New Said. You too listen to it in the form of a comparison:

I saw that I was a traveller and was going on a long journey; that is to say, I was being sent. The one who was my lord gradually gave me some of the money from the sixty gold pieces he had allotted me. I spent them, and came to a hostel where there were amusements of all kinds. In one night in that hostel I spent ten pieces of gold on gambling, amusements, and the enjoyment of fame. In the morning I had no money left. Moreover I had done no trade nor bought any goods for the place I was going. All that remained to me from the money were sins and pains, and from the amusements, wounds and sorrow. While in that sorry state, a man suddenly appeared. He said to me:

"You have wasted all your capital and deserve punishment. You are going to your destination bankrupt and with your hands empty. But if you have any sense, the door of repentance is open. When you receive the fifteen pieces of gold that remain to you, keep half of them in reserve. That is, obtain the things necessary for you in the place where you are going."

I looked, my soul did not agree to this.

So he said: "A third, then."

My soul still did not obey him.

Then he said: "A quarter."

My soul could not give up the habits to which it was addicted, so the man angrily turned his back on me and left.

Suddenly, the scene changed. I was in a train in a tunnel, which was travelling fast as though downwards vertically. I took fright. But what could I do, there was no escape anywhere. Strangely, attractive flowers and enticing fruits appeared on both sides of the train. And I, like the foolish and inexperienced, looked at them and stretching out my hand, tried to pick them. But they were covered in thorns and tore at my hands when I touched them making them bleed. With the movement of the train, my hands were lacerated at being parted from them. They cost me much. Suddenly a porter on the train said:

"Give me five kurush and I shall give you as much of the flowers and fruits as you want. You are caused the loss of a hundred kurush with your hands being torn, rather than five kurush. Also there is a penalty; you cannot pick them without permission."

In distress I put my head out of the window and looked ahead to see when the tunnel would end. I saw that in place of the tunnel's entrance were numerous holes. People were being thrown into them from the long train. I saw a hole opposite me. On either side of it was a gravestone. I looked in amazement. I saw that written on one of the gravestones was the name SAID. In my bewilderment and anxiety I exclaimed: "Alas!" Then suddenly I heard the voice of the man who had given me advice at the door of the hostel. He asked:

"Have you come to your senses?"

I replied: "Yes, but it is too late now."

So he said: "Repent and place your trust in God."

I replied that I would. Then I awoke and saw myself as the New Said; the Old Said had disappeared.

So, that was the vision. May God cause good to come of it! I shall interpret one or two parts of it, then you can interpret the rest for yourself.

The journey was the journey which passes from the World of Spirits, through the mother's womb, youth, old age, the grave, the Intermediate Realm, the resurrection, and the Bridge of Sirat towards eternity. The sixty pieces of gold were the sixty years of life. I reckoned I saw the vision when I was forty-five years old. I had nothing to guarantee it, but a sincere student of the All-Wise Qur'an advised me to spend half of the fifteen that remained to me on the hereafter. The hostel for me was Istanbul. The train was time, and each year a carriage. As for the tunnel, it was the life of this world. The thorny flowers and fruits were illicit pleasures and forbidden amusements which cause pain while indulging in them on thinking of their passing, and on separation lacerate the heart, making it bleed. They also cause a punishment to be inflicted. The porter on the train told me to give him five kurush so that he would give me as many as I wanted.

The meaning of this is as follows: the pleasures and enjoyment man receives through licit striving within the sphere of what is lawful are sufficient for him. No need remains to enter the unlawful. You may interpret the rest for yourself."(Taken from 23th word from the words book)

Wish I’d called it Day 0 in the first place, but whatever. Honestly, I haven’t felt this resilient against urges in a long time. Turns out the fear of embarrassing myself on the very first day actually worked. I couldn’t fully enjoy the relief of day one because I got a bit anxious about my studies, but it still felt good overall.

​Nofap Goal: 1/3

🟩⬜️⬜️

​NoGaming Goal (a big trigger for me):

1/5

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I’ve been analyzing what’s been triggering me over the last couple of days, and here’s what I noticed:

1. ​Shorts/reels on YouTube and Insta. They always catch you completely off guard.
2. Gaming, plus bingeing mindless/funny videos and movies.​

My fixes:

• Ditching Insta and YouTube altogether to avoid Shorts and Reels. Instead, I’m using an app called "Studytube." It has no homepage or recommendations, so I can just search for what I actually need. (Not an ad, it just legit works.)
• 5 day gaming ban. I’m not addicted, but the urge creeps up sometimes, and it’s a distraction from my studies anyway. I don't watch movies much either, but I’m putting a 3 month ban on those just in case since I saw one guy who relapsed just because one video he saw in his fyp. No need to play danger games. ​

I’ve always been the type of person who cares way too much about what people think, both IRL and online. Like, an online troll cursing at me can legit ruin my day. ​I want to turn this weakness into a strength to fight off temptation. If you guys support me in the comments, it’ll keep me accountable. Since I’m reporting my daily progress here, whenever I get an urge, I’ll stop and think, "How am I gonna explain this to them?" and hopefully, that’ll stop me from giving in.

I’m starting to break free from this addiction, which began a year ago out of loneliness and boredom and has often forced me to do that thing every day. As a 17-year-old entering 12th grade, I’ll be going back to school in 24 days and taking my university entrance exam in 313 days. My goal is to clear my mind of this addiction as much as possible during these critical 24 days, use the busyness of school to break free, and refocus on my studies.

I know there will be ups and downs along the way, but no matter how many times I fall, I swear I’ll keep fighting, remembering that my life’s destiny depends on this.

My current goal is to reach the 3-day mark—which I haven’t been able to achieve before—and to gradually increase that time. May Alah grant strength to me and to my other brothers who wish to overcome this illness. Amen.