u/Embarrassed-Quit1125

Hey Reddit. This is my first time posting so I’m not sure if this is the right place to post. So I 24f am very small. I was born premature and have some nutrients deficiency so I’m very small. I also consistently work out and am very lean. I don’t think I’m better than anyone else because of this it’s just my size. I wear a xsmall or 2xsmall in women’s or large in children’s clothing. I often alter my clothes more because I’m short as well, think under 5’. I have a 17f sister who I adore. I think she is gorgeous and should be extremely confident in herself. She does however land in the overweight category. I personally think the label is ridiculous because she is only mildly overweight. The main problem is how small I am compared to her. We always shared clothes growing up but when she hit high school she gain a lot more weight. Now she typically will wear a large in women’s.It’s important to add that I have a very unique style and alter a lot of my clothes and she loves trying to style them. She’ll take my clothes when she comes over to my apartment and bring them back all stretched out or with torn stitches without even asking. I think mentally she struggles with her appearance because every time I bring it up even if I try to be super gentle she gets really upset and says it’s because she’s fat isn’t it. I tell that she is beautiful and I have even offered to take her to a fabric store so we could get some custom fabric or go thrift thing for an outfit that I can alter for her and we can design them together so she has her own cool pieces. However, she won’t stop taking my extra small tops and shorts and bringing them back all stretched out to the point where when I put them on, they give more of an oversized grungy look that I’m not really going for. Because of being a little underdeveloped in my size and her being a little bit bigger than average, the gap in size is pretty significant and it really does stretch out most of my clothes. but I don’t want her to feel like I don’t think she’s beautiful or for her to feel any less confident so I’m willing to sacrifice some of my clothes and alter them so she can have them. It just breaks my heart when my favorite pieces come back all stretched out and I feel like I was a little blindsided because she didn’t even ask my permission first. I work really really hard on my work and I’m really proud of my designs that I create and it’s really disappointing when I find one of my favorite shirts that I just finished altering all stretched out so that it doesn’t fit me. How can I ask her to stop respectfully without making her feel self-conscious? Is there any way that I can try to make her feel better and more confident about herself? She already goes to therapy and I’ve tried suggesting that I can go with her so that we can work out any problems we might have in our relationship, but I’m just not sure.