My bf [24M] is being very consumed by worry from my [22F] pregnancy scare.
My boyfriend and I have been LDR for 3 years, but we have been seeing each other at least every 2 months. Last month, we kinda got carried away a little too much and did it raw. I did not take any form of contraceptive, being overly confident. He didn’t finish inside, and was very careful on pre-ejaculation. Now, I’m 1 week late on my period, though I have tested negative on my second day of the missed date.
For more context, my bf is going through a very big change in his life of trying to get a job that he works so hard for (he needs to study consistently to get employed) and is gonna move to another city next week. Ever since he got landed the opportunity, he had been pretty occupied and we hadn’t got much time to talk, which admittedly was very hard for me to adjust.
When he found out that I’m a week late already, he started to become very stressed. He’s always worrying and when we talk the first thing he asks is “Did you get your period already?” “Did you have your pre-period cramps already?” “Buy another pt.” And when he talks to me, we just aren’t that connected anymore.
We fight more often and he becomes so stressed out and frustrated (almost angry) all the time which makes it even harder trying to communicate. We end up saying very hurtful things to each other and almost broke up.
I even talked to him about the things that are currently going on in our relationship and the things he said and done that hurt me but the only thing he could talk about after was about how worried and stressed he is if the PT is ever positive.
He keeps telling me about how everyone will put the blame on him and he still hasn’t financially established himself and would feel bad for the kid. He tells me he’s worried about my future and that he doesn’t want to ruin it. Then repeats “I just hope it’s negative”
I know he’s not wrong but as a woman, it’s also very stressful for me but it hurts more when your partner is someone who’s also constantly worrying to the point that it makes me feel like that negative PT is all he cares about (valid) but ygwim? I want to feel like he cares for what I feel during the time too. I’ve communicated that I need his support and need him to be strong, that we will be there for each other, but he’s still so consumed and looks frustrated all the time. It makes me feel like I just ruined his focus in life and he hates me for it (he says he doesn’t).
It’s always just me the one trying to do the serious and “let’s fix this talk” but I understand that he’s really busy with his job plus the stress of this scare and my emotions. He also has a lot on his plate. Seriously working 7 days a week.
It’s almost like he forgot that he has a relationship and he doesn’t give af about our relationship, like he just wants to get away (i know that isn’t the case but i can’t help it)
There’s just so much going on at the wrong time. I am aware that this is both our responsibilities and consequences.
What should I do? I genuinely don’t even know what to do or what my question exactly is. But I know I’m struggling trying to balance self-worth and our relationship.
I can’t stake the PT now because I have very conservative parents and I went home to the province for summer, everyone knows everyone here so word spreads fast if I bought a PT. I’d have to wait for another opportunity to go back to the city probably next week.