Crushed and bewildered. '66M' she is '55F' married 23 yrs.
I want to relate my story which is multifaceted. I am '66M' she is '55F' married 23 yrs. I will relate the most damning part first. She would travel to for vacation to Poland from Canada where we lived for the most part. Every summer for 2.5 months. She would be living next to her parents cottage, in her own cottage. I would join my family for a month during these months. 2010 was a turning point. i was there in july and we were talking one nite with her bil about different things. then he started about a woman his cop partner, that had a mark on her left breast. as he was talking he slowly extended his hand very slowly. I thought he was just pointing and that he would stop short of touching my wife. He did not. he touched her on her breast right next to her nipple. the worst part as i watched in horror and dismay my wife did not flinch did not move or protest. it was very natural to her, she was not bothered by this action. it was very familiar it seemed. i was gutted! In my mind this could only happen if there was prior touching and a long intimate relations.
All i could think of was, if I blew up my marriage at this point I would loose everything. my kids my house , everything. The BIL said that he started to like her when she first came back from canada. that was very early in our marriage. i am wondering if they were lovers from 2005 to 2017 when he divorced with her sister and started to live with another woman.
There was another betrayal that snowballed and created the mess that exists currently. When I brought up the fact that I felt betrayed same as when I saw her bil touching her breast, she flew into a rage. She claimed I was crazy! I saw nothing ! I was dreaming. I need to see a psychiatrist. This went on for a week. Someone called the bil so he can set me straight. He admited the whole story of how he did touch her breast as he was telling his story. He claimed that he now liked her better than before as she was much nicer. Because of her being like this, she would not slap him if he touched her breast. This is his explanation. Then he made more comments. That loneliness is bad for a man and woman!! She at that time did not think of herself as a sexual object! That I was blinded by love , so i should stay blind or find a normal woman.
Her responces are either deflections or outright lies t try and paint me as crazy, senile or suffering alzheimers. In the meantime she has taken to whats app and has started to rewrite our history together. We were like divorced from the begining! I was pushing her away all the time. I am controling, a patriarch. And then she was asked by her dentist friend, do you know what they used in poisoning? Her reply ? oh yes we have crokuses growing all around here, i often thought about it. I have removed my self from her vicinity and only speak when i must for logostics. we still have the kids so... i will be filling soon.