My step dad told me he likes me
My step dad (44m) confessed to me (20f) today. I been having this gut feeling for months now and always thought I was just overthinking but today he confirmed it. He’s been with my mom for almost 12 years, they have kids together, are married and I started living with them for four years since before I was living in other country. Everything was pretty normal before the last months, we barely interacted or spend time us two because we really don’t have anything in common and the times we did it was all short interactions, nothing really weird. I even started seeing him as a dad figure, he supported me in everything, payed for my stuff and since I was a child he never did any type of distinctions between my siblings and I, I was really grateful for all the support he gave my mom and how happy he makes her. In the last month, he started giving me driving classes and that’s when I started having my suspicions, he become quiet touchy with me (like pinching me and teasing me), I thought he was like getting comfortable with me since he also does that to my siblings, and then later started doing things like giving a flower for my birthday and money, and later asking me to not tell my mom so “she wouldn’t get the wrong idea”, and that’s when I pretty knew something was weird. Last week, he also told me i remembered him to a girl he was in love with when he was younger, and that he is now at an age where he doesn’t want to keep things and likes to express his feelings.
Today, while in our driving lesson he hugged me and then told he liked me. He explained himself saying he wasn’t in love with me, but just felt attraction because he now sees me as a woman, that it just happened and I can’t blame him because he’s just a human, he said that he told me this so things wouldn’t escalate. I immediately started crying and had a panic attack, I felt horrible and didn’t know what to said, he try to calm me down saying he wasn’t planning to act on it or anything, that I shouldn’t be scared of him and that things don’t have to change just because of it. I told him that it was fine and I understood, and then he asked me again to not told my mom or anyone anything about it.
I feel horrible, I don’t know what I am supposed to do now because I can’t stop thinking about all the interactions we had and overthinking everything. I was so mad and so disappointed, I been knowing him since I was a child and for the first time I felt like I had a present father figure in my life and now I realize he’s been doing all those good things because he likes me, now everything is weird and awkward and i feel really uncomfortable in my own home. I was also mad because of my mom who had already suffer so much with my biological father and now the man that she loves and does everything for him does this, and through his whole confession I couldn’t stop thinking about her and my siblings. I know it’s not my fault, but I can’t stop crying and feeling like a bad daughter.
For the moment I am just thinking of moving out of home to live somewhere else :/