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Hi,
I'm writing this for seeking an advice over an argument that me and my girlfriend recently had. She has had two past relationships in both of which she was intimate with her exes. And in both these relationships with her exes such situations have come where she was basically been forced to be intimate with them. She has also had regular consenting intercourse with one of them who was her friend apparently and they got into a situationship later and had sex and stuff.
After this instance where she was forced the relationship broke both times. The issue that I have with her is that even after such ugly instances she is still friends with one of them and she wears a bracelet given by this person daily and has all the gifts that he gave her like plushies and purses and uses it regularly. She's still on talking terms with this person and he randomly calls her at midnight sometimes even when I am with her. She doesn't pick up and talk much to him that I know. Recently he sent her chocolates and stuff for some reason. I am not okay with all of this. Firstly, being her partner, I don't appreciate her being on talking terms with her ex who she used to have sex with. Secondly, I am not okay with her being on talking terms with a guy who basically SA'd her. And when I say something like I'm not okay with this and that you have to stop talking to him. She'll brush it off or somehow put it on me or bring up something from the past about how I hurt her. She's very vocal about how much she hates him and that whenever they talk she reminds him of what he did to her and stuff. But I don't understand this double standard. If someone misbehaved with me in such a manner, I'd not even be on talking terms with this person, let alone keep his toys and wear his bracelet daily and eat chocolates sent by him. I would cut this person off entirely. And on top of that if I have a partner. It becomes even more important. So I told her all of this over a call and her response basically was that she is very angry now and don't want to talk now and that she wants some time to process. I am absolutely fine with that but I don't appreciate the double standards. Sorry but I'm not that good of a person that you keep doing this and I won't even bring it up. You can't have everything as per your convenience. I'm not sure how to navigate through this. How to go about this in a practical way?