A,
May nabasa akong post sa threads which said something like, we’re each other’s person, the one you’d always answer, but you’ll never have the courage to call. Di ko yun naisip masyado dati, until such time I was taking too many hits and you were right there for me. I never forgot those words kasi totoo naman. I never called you first. Sobrang weird ‘no? I feel like you were so constant. Isang tawa mo lang. Isang ngiti mo lang. Isang bati mo lang. Isang tawag mo lang sa palayaw ko. Yet I feel like you were so out of reach at the same time. If you would initiate, I know in myself I’d answer you with no hesitation. Pero ba’t sa’kin ang hirap? There’s always this pause. And I’ll eventually find out the reason why I should have not. Not because I don’t want to naman, but because I don’t know where I stand now. There was a time when things weren’t this difficult. Sabi mo pa nga, isang ngiti ko lang, you’d know we were good. It’s just a hit or miss thing, sabi mo pa nga. Now it feels like we exist in this unspoken understanding. Close enough to matter, far enough to stay where we are. At yun nga napapaisip ako. Di naman sa paraan na kailangan may sagot. Just in the same quiet moments when your name crosses my mind as if it never left. Ganon talaga siguro ‘no? I guess we could have been those people who would have been something more, but chose, or learned, to be less. So yeah. Maybe more… but just this.