u/EmbarrassedMilennial

I noticed this during an interview recently. Outside work my english is honestly fine. Movies, podcasts, random conversations, no issue. But interviews feel like a completely different language because suddenly every sentence has to sound confident immediately. One unexpected follow-up question and my brain just stalled for a second. That pause felt way bigger than it probably was. And it's a pattern, I obssessively prepare for interviews, rehearse every possible questions. Don't get me wrong, I speak english well (imho) but I will never be a native speaker, and I don't want it to show.

(désolé pour toutes les erreurs, j'apprends encore)
Parfois j’ai l’impression d’être entre deux états bizarres.

Genre je comprends directement certaines phrases en français sans réfléchir… puis 10 secondes après mon cerveau recommence à tout traduire mot par mot comme un vieux Google Translate fatigué.

Et le pire c’est quand je veux parler. Dans ma tête la phrase semble parfaite, mais au moment de l’ouvrir la bouche tout devient lent et étrange.

Je fais aussi des petites conversations aux apps (comme praktika, car duolingo ne suffit pas) en ce moment et ça aide un peu avec le réflexe de parler sans tout préparer avant, mais honnêtement mon cerveau traduit encore beaucoup plus que je voudrais.

Ça disparaît un jour ou pas vraiment ???

there’s a specific moment where i know what i want to say, and then i watch myself build it word by word, like i’m dragging each word into place. by the time the sentence is done,
people are super patient with me about it, but you can feel when the conversation's moving around you. what bothers me isn’t mistakes, it’s the speed, or lack of it mostly. like the language exists in my head but not at the speed required to use it.
i’ve been trying to push more speaking when travelling to spain and mexico lately, even when it feels slightly forced, just to reduce that lag and sometimes it works for a few sentences, but then it resets again.

at what point did it actually started 'flowing' smoothly?