throwaway account. my husband and i have been married for almost 2 years, with a 10 month old baby. my husband, before we got married was perfect-everything i could have wanted and more. we dated for close to 2 years before marriage. i moved from another country to be with him, left my family career friends etc. to move to the US with him. after i moved, i quickly became pregnant and things started to go downhill fast. the man i knew was nowhere to be found. we started to get into petty arguments, silent treatment from both ends for days even weeks, domestic violence situations. my husband would constantly tell me he is only here for our son and despite going to counselling which i thought was helping he still wishes to get divorced.
about 3 weeks ago, he assured me he would file my immigration adjustment of status. mind you he has been saying he would since we got married. still nothing. the day came where all that was left was to sign the docs and mail. he suddenly tells me that he doesn’t wish to be married, there isn’t any love or trust and i was just stunned. after watching me run around for 2 weeks to complete the application which he refused to help me with, now i’m to go back home to my family with a baby? its all just so evil.
after this, he started to regret his decision and wanted to work on it, he said he would again sign and pay for my application but only if i signed a postnup agreement. i consulted with a lawyer who advised me that it wouldn’t be a good idea for me to sign. i was busy with the baby and in my head so i kept quiet for a few days, not ignoring just quiet. it was like everything hit me at once. he got upset by this, moved to sleeping on the couch, ignoring me. it all came to a head the other night when he accused me of neglecting our child because i had gone out for some fresh air after feeding and bathing our baby for bed-messaging me saying he’s so hungry (he was not and there are tons of meals i pre prep for him every few days in the fridge). i lost it and here he comes saying he wants a divorce again. called my father and my father told him he says this every few weeks and he’s over it. my in laws have tried to speak to him, everyone can see how he treats me terribly but him.
i say all this to say, how to navigate divorce with a child? we are in the same home but i will be leaving eventually to stay with family before figuring out my next steps. i’m not sad really only for my child who won’t grow up in a two parent household but i’m tired of being the only one trying to make it work whilst constantly being my husbands scapegoat.
any advise or personal stories would be greatly appreciated!