Help needed! Thank you all in advance
Hello beautiful people. I took the decision to quit alcohol before one year after the birth of my baby. As a proven (functional) alcoholic I was drinking away my low self esteem, my anxiety, my fears, my whole life depression. In the same time I started again my no fap journey which had been proven in the past as a useful tool regarding with all the above including my financial situation. I had noticed in the past that whenever I was quitting alcohol and PMO the things were turning gradually to a more successful, easy going and “bright” direction. Attraction used to be skyrocketed, abundance and money were flowing, good luck etc.
Despite these past experiences this last year is a total disaster regarding my business, my mentally health, my anxiety, my personal life. Most of the times I feel like I’m inside a quicksand and others that I’m trying to survive a terrible storm. My emotions made a huge outburst and I was found to fight with the demons of my childhood (42 now)
I started working with my breath and feeling my suppressed emotions which was a huge relief. Praying and praying, going in microcosmic orbit with my retained energy (cleansing and purifying my nervous system), daily cold showers, journaling.
The relationship with my self started to be more grounded and gradually I am accepting all this pain that I was avoiding so many years. The fear related to the opposite sex started to fade away and my stress is massively reduced.
However my financial condition is the same and gets worse daily. I have pending projects which are not proceeding, clients who are disappearing before we sign the collaboration contract, unexpected depts and bills coming from nowhere. Every time when I’m trying to touch the turning point something blocks the process. In the same time I’m in the most creative period of my life.
Maybe I’m in this so called “Dark Night of the soul”. Maybe I’m just trapped in my head and everything is a coincidence. I don’t know. The birth of the baby was the kick starter to perceive my spiritual journey in a more serious way and to be a better human being, man and designer.
Please feel free to share your helpful thoughts.
Thanks in advance