Does anyone else experience this weird guilt?
I am currently in a throuple with my 2 boyfriends and I feel guilty about it a lot. I have been with one of them for a few years, while the other we just started seeing not too long ago. I feel especially bad for the one we just started seeing. Any time we bring it up with him, he reassures us he wants this, he wants us. But I feel some sort of guilt like I dragged someone into a relationship dynamic that isn’t normalized by society? In fact, quite the opposite. I know that’s not true, we didn’t have to “convince” him or anything. We were just fwb for awhile until we decided to ask him out and found out he wanted us as well. I feel bad we have to be so secretive. I feel bad we can’t bring it up with family or most friends without getting judged.
Me and the boyfriend I have been with the longest never even considered a relationship like this before. It was something we joked about occasionally, (“if our fictional crushes were real..” things like that) but when we saw him the first time it kind of woke something up inside of us I guess? We are super surprised he wanted to be with us in the end because he never ever expected or thought about a relationship like this either. Something in me just hurts for him, even though he says he doesn’t care, because I think we have the potential to be his first serious relationship, and then what? Will he never get to tell anyone about us (which I am not hurt by but I feel bad on his end)? He will quite literally never get to tell his conservative family. Hell, my parents are very liberal and I wouldn’t even be able to tell them. Relationships between more than 2 people are completely looked down on and society is disgusted by them. Everyone would make assumptions. We’ll never see our relationship dynamic shown in tv/cute videos to send your partner/ etc. It sucks.
I don’t find myself ever wanting to be with anyone else besides them two, and I know they feel the same way. I really don’t think I would ever try to be with anyone else. I love them both so much…
Edit: I also wanted to add that he (newest partner) is VERY straight passing and he didn’t even realize he wanted to be with a guy before he met my, and now his, boyfriend. Which just adds to the guilt, considering he comes from a VERY conservative town. I can tell he’s super into us both though.