r/throuples

Hi, I’m new here.

So I don’t know how to start this, but here I go I guess. I am bisexual. Ever since I was a kid I’ve always leaned toward throuples. But because of how my family and friends and just society in general viewed it, I suppressed it a lot.

Now I am 23(f), married to a man, and have a beautifully silly daughter. For the past few months, I have found myself drawn more and more to the idea of having a girlfriend as well as my husband. Part of me loves it, I was Sa’d by girls in middle and high school so subconsciously I hated that part of myself and now I actually feel like I am healing. Another part is put off about it. Mostly due to the internalized “issues” with it.

Well, the other day I was talking about a book I’m drafting (with a ffm couple) and my husband asked where it came from. I told him honestly that I’d been fantasizing and thinking about that kind of relationship dynamic more and more.

He told me to go for it. Find a girlfriend. He doesn’t need or really want much to do with her himself, just wants to share me and wants me to be happy. He thinks it would be really good for me and swears up and down he wouldn’t be jealous or using it to shirk our relationship. We are in complete agreement that our marriage would come first.

But I’m scared to think about it further. It’s not just our life it would affect. It would affect our daughter, our friends, and our family. I’m terrified that it would cause issues with our families. Or when my daughter enters school, when people evidently found out, she’d be bullied because of my choices. She’s young enough now that even if it took a year or two, it would become her normal by the time she went to school. I can’t do that to her.

So I guess, what advice might you have? My husband and I have already started talking about how we would handle dates, personal time with each, and he’s always assuring me he wouldn’t mind.

I have a unique throuple. I (41F) have been with my hubby (43M) for 21 years. We had started dating our Butterfly (27f) in June of last year. She moved in March of this year. To move in, she quit her job. I work remotely and Hubby doesn’t work. They are both HYPER sexual people. And I mean HYPER. Hubby keeps a diary of sex. For example, last week between blowjobs and sex, he had a count of 50. Add in masturbation, it’s 55. IN ONE WEEK!! Most of that was with Butterfly. With them not having jobs, they wake up anytime between 9-10 and go to bed around 12:30-1:30. Meanwhile, I wake up at 7:30 and due to my disability, I have to go to bed by 10:30 at the latest.
My venting is that I work a full time job, have a disability, still do a shit ton of chores and just am exhausted and not feeling sexual by the end of the day. I am getting soooo frustrated that they are always having sex and just sitting around. Yes, they do chores each day. But like, maybe 2 hours worth. While I sit here doing my job, being the sole breadwinner and then doing chores or exercising during my lunch hour. Our house is INCREDIBLY small. So all we have between us is a sliding barn door if they are in the living room or the bedroom door if they go in there.
I want them both to be happy. But damn… like I wish I could tell them to knock it off. 😖 it’s just not fair!!
I know that I knew that this would be the case when she moved in until she finds a job (IF she finds a job) but I’m getting so tired of it. For example, last night I went to bed at normal time. I was in the room for a whole 15 minutes before I could hear them having sex. 1 hour later…. Still hearing them. It makes me feel unwanted. It makes me feel like I am a bitch if I say anything about them having too much sex.
I dunno where I am going with this but I just needed to put it out to the universe bc I just can’t handle this. It’s honestly made me not want to be in this relationship anymore. But right now, that’s not an option.

I am currently in a throuple with my 2 boyfriends and I feel guilty about it a lot. I have been with one of them for a few years, while the other we just started seeing not too long ago. I feel especially bad for the one we just started seeing. Any time we bring it up with him, he reassures us he wants this, he wants us. But I feel some sort of guilt like I dragged someone into a relationship dynamic that isn’t normalized by society? In fact, quite the opposite. I know that’s not true, we didn’t have to “convince” him or anything. We were just fwb for awhile until we decided to ask him out and found out he wanted us as well. I feel bad we have to be so secretive. I feel bad we can’t bring it up with family or most friends without getting judged.
Me and the boyfriend I have been with the longest never even considered a relationship like this before. It was something we joked about occasionally, (“if our fictional crushes were real..” things like that) but when we saw him the first time it kind of woke something up inside of us I guess? We are super surprised he wanted to be with us in the end because he never ever expected or thought about a relationship like this either. Something in me just hurts for him, even though he says he doesn’t care, because I think we have the potential to be his first serious relationship, and then what? Will he never get to tell anyone about us (which I am not hurt by but I feel bad on his end)? He will quite literally never get to tell his conservative family. Hell, my parents are very liberal and I wouldn’t even be able to tell them. Relationships between more than 2 people are completely looked down on and society is disgusted by them. Everyone would make assumptions. We’ll never see our relationship dynamic shown in tv/cute videos to send your partner/ etc. It sucks.
I don’t find myself ever wanting to be with anyone else besides them two, and I know they feel the same way. I really don’t think I would ever try to be with anyone else. I love them both so much…

Edit: I also wanted to add that he (newest partner) is VERY straight passing and he didn’t even realize he wanted to be with a guy before he met my, and now his, boyfriend. Which just adds to the guilt, considering he comes from a VERY conservative town. I can tell he’s super into us both though.

I’m (31f) have been married to my partner (28m) for almost 2 years. We have a pretty good marriage, we have worked on our sex life and have 2 beautiful children that we both adore. But I still want to be in a throuple. (M/f/f)

In my last relationship, I brought the idea up and he was very hurt by me asking to bring in a women to our already 3 year relationship. He asked me if he wasn’t enough for me. I told him he was and never brought it up again.

Then after we broke up I actually had a couple threesomes (sex only) and I really enjoyed it but I wanted a family and I couldn’t see how a throuple could work as a family. So I kinda gave up on that dream and committed to monogamy and finding a partner that loved me and wanted a family too.

And I found that! …. But I still think about it a lot and worse is I think about it with the only woman I had romantic feelings for. (And no I’m not a lesbian that’s in a hetero relationship just wanting both). I love the idea of him falling in love with her and I dream of them meeting and I get to watch them instancely click. And of a life where we share everything and have more love than we could ever imagine. (I am such a dreamer!)

But maybe it’s just a fantasy and I should just focus on the decision I made when I got into another monogamous relationship.