u/VelouriaLamour

Happy Throuple Thursday! 🎉

Yeah I know it’s not a thing… but it totally should be!

I just wrote a new article for all those long-term lovebirds out there. If you’re like me and have spent years, perhaps decades, in a relationship and the only thing getting hot & heavy is the pile of unfolded laundry… then this one’s for you!  

How to microdose NRE when you’ve got that Old Relationship Energy

https://velourialamour.substack.com/p/how-to-rekindle-nre-when-you-got-old-relationship-energy

It’s got a galaxy of realistic, low-effort, high-reward ways to keep the spark alive. None of this “just book a surprise trip to Tulum” nonsense, and no buying jewelry that requires its own insurance policy. Instead, just dabble in the ✨ microdose surprises! ✨

Some of the pinky-dips include:

* Post-it notes on the mirror that are sweet, sexy, or certifiably wackadoodle
* 6-second kisses that actually trigger oxytocin
* “Stranger in my house” conversations
* Living room dance parties with or without clothing
* Taking something off your partner’s plate without keeping score
* The “no phones, just us” time
* And even starting a shared project (just… maybe don’t adopt a horse… speaking from personal experience here that my partners do NOT think is funny)

I wrote this for people who are already doing the hard work of throuple life and just need some fresh kindling in their relationship without adding burnout.

Do you have any easy + high-ROI ways to fuel your relationship? Let everyone here know! The more magically mundane, the better 🤩

Happy Polyfiday! Yeah I know it’s not a thing… but maybe it should be 🤩

Anyway! I just published an article that talks about the differences between polyamory, polyfidelity, and polygamy. 

The TL;DR:
Polyamory = big potluck where everyone brings a dish (with consent, ofc)
Polyfidelity = cozy private dinner party
Polygamy = family banquet, usually tied to culture, religion, and/or legal marriage stuff

I dabble in the sweet bits, the shitshow potential, and why labels are just fancy wrappers on much more complicated candy… but the wrapper doesn’t dictate how the candy actually tastes.

Full post up on Substack if you want the whole thing:

https://velourialamour.substack.com/p/labels-lies-and-love-an-easy-guide-to-polyamory-polyfidelity-polygamy

I’m aiming for 1 new article a week because the DMs I’ve been getting are STAGGERING but honestly super motivating and flattering 😍 Not to mention, y’all are giving me endless content ideas!! Case in point: someone DM’d me who was sorta spiraling over whether they were polyfi, polyam, polygamous, or something else entirely. They were sooo stuck on the “label” that they were missing the beauty of the actual lived experience. That DM became the spark for this piece, so thank YOU for that!

And thank you all for all the messages, encouragements, the love, and even the occasional lil hate, lol! All of it helps and keeps me writing -- and keeps the algorithms well fed too 😋

Have a great weekend! ❤️💙🩷

Hello resplendent Redditors! I’ve finally fully recovered from my Italian carb coma and am trying to hit my self-imposed goal of 1 new article a week. Well… last week that didn’t happen so I’m not exactly off to a great start 😅 BUT! I’m pleased to report that I did just publish a new piece on Substack: 

The 7 Stages of Love. Most relationships can't make it past Stage 3. Here's why, and how to survive.

It’s a very real, very raw look at what actually happens after the NRE + honeymoon period fades away during Stage 1. Hoping this article might actually save some relationships… or at least give you a good laugh while yours is in the throes of domestic chaos :)

Here are the 7 Stages at a glance:

1: The Enchantment is wonderful.

2: The Awakening is necessary.

3: The Reckoning is transformative (and a real dick).

4: The Forging builds strength.

5: The Harmony brings peace.

6: The Sanctuary offers refuge.

7: The Legacy becomes your gift — to each other and everyone watching.

So if you’re currently in a “omg why is this so hard now?” phase, this one’s for you and your partner(s) too! 

https://velourialamour.substack.com/p/the-7-stages-of-love-most-relationships-quit-at-stage-3

Where are you in the 7 Stages right now? 

And what are you most interested in reading about next? I’ve got an alarming number of ideas and WIPs queued up, but who better to decide than the actual readers 🥰

Ciao bellas, bros, and beautiful beings everywhere! If you read my previous article on the 10 tips for moving in together with your partners, then you’ve already got the foundation set… but now the REAL fun begins after the shiny “omg we’re all living together!!” has worn away.

Welcome to the everyday reality of sharing one fridge, one thermostat, and one very opinionated dishwasher philosophy with 3 people under 1 roof!

After 15+ years of being in my throuple, I wrote up 10 practical tips for actually living together & making things work long-term.

I get into the nitty-gritty of handling arguments, chores, managing finances fairly, addressing why needing space is NOT rejection, how to handle pet peeves, and why embracing a growth mindset is everything. It’s equal parts real talk, war stories, and hard-won wisdom from what’s worked (and hasn’t worked 😬) for my throuple.

So if you’re already nesting with your partners, or are thinking about it, or just want to hear how other throuples make it work without losing their minds AND relationship status, go ahead and give it a read! It’s honest, hopefully helpful, and hopefully hilarious!

https://velourialamour.substack.com/p/10-tips-for-living-together-relationship-advice-couple-throuple-quad-poly

And of course me and everyone else here would LOVE to hear your stories as well (the good, the bad, and the hooollly shhiiiiiiit!), so please feel free to comment! Hope you and your loved ones are enjoying the lovely weekend. Ciao ciao!

Buongiorno, Reddit! Just got back from a spontaneous Italy trip with Hubby and Wifey where we mainlined so much pizza and pasta our bodies are practically 80% carbs right now. No ragùrets!

Before our trip, another fellow throuple was moving in together, so I sent them over some tips for making the move work since this was the first time all 3 of them were actually living together aaaand my throuple knows all too well what works and what doesn’t work for cohabitation. Then about 2 weeks ago, my throuple watched a couple on their “romantic” Italian vacation completely ignore each other; this was likely their first trip together, and likely their last. And this was the spark I needed to put down the Peroni and actually start writing:

what are the top things couples, throuples, quads, and polycules SHOULD do before living together in order to make a relationship work long-term? 

Nothing strips the romance filter off a relationship faster than cohabitation… especially when you multiply it by 3 or more. Dating profiles can lie, date nights are curated, but actually living together? Well that’s when the quirks, kitchen wars, and “why are you loading the dishwasher like a psychopath” come out swinging. After 15 years of throuple life (including multiple moves, international relocations, and enough domestic chaos to earn a PhD in it), I wrote a list of 10 battle-tested tips & tricks on Substack.

https://velourialamour.substack.com/p/moving-in-together-as-a-throuple

I cover things like a mandatory 3-week trial run first, international vacations as compatibility tests, embracing minimalism so you’re not mentally (or literally) tripping over baggage, and a list of housing requirements to make ENM life manageable and comfortable! I also prepped some scripts for nosy family/friends/landlords and have suggestions for “legally” living together despite there being at least 1 person in the relationship who isn’t “legally” recognized. 

So if you’re thinking about living with multiple partners, or if you’re a couple wanting some move-in tips, or if you’re just looking for a few laughs because they probably hit close to home, go ahead and give it a read! It’s equal parts practical advice, survivor stories, and unfiltered real talk. And yes, the dishwasher has been a huge point of contention in our relationship :p

I’m already writing up a follow up article about 10 tips for actually living together. Until then, I would love to hear your own cohabitation stories and amazing wins in the comments below! Ciao 🍕🍝🤌