about a year ago, i realized that the friend i disliked the most exhibited much of the same behaviors as i do. she would constantly belittle my accomplishments, gossip about people's failures constantly, and was (still is) an overall bitter person. she has many good qualities, but her personality can be so suffocating at times. that is when i distanced myself from her as much as i could, and tried to be less critical of others. i never voiced my thoughts, so it was mostly just me trying to course-correct mentally. i have two specific friends whom i have always admired for their seemingly effortless kindness. they mention things i have never even considered (sorry if it sounds vague, i just can't come up with an example right now).
but now it's a year later and i feel like i haven't made much progress. mentally, i'm still judging people constantly. i'm still dreadfully insecure, and obviously that's where much of the judgement comes from. one of the new friends i made could've not been my friend because i judged her so much based on how i perceived her but she turned out to be one of the smartest and kindest people i know. it's frustrating that i keep letting my brain jump to conclusions without getting to know someone, and that i think so unfairly of people.
maybe i have made progress, but i feel like mental changes like these are difficult to measure. i guess i'm just rambling now, but does anyone have advice regarding this? thanks!