u/Embarrassed_Safe_224

hi folks, im not completely sure if this is the right place to post, but ive been struggling with what I believe is severe body dysmorphia since I was around 11. One of the biggest triggers for me is having photos taken. Even the idea of someone pulling out a camera can make me feel extremely anxious and panicked. When I do end up in photos (way too often) especially ones posted online without me knowing, it causes a very intense reaction, and i mean REALLY intense. I feel extremely overwhelmed, physically overheated, and have trouble breathing. I can also become very agitated and aggresive, alot of times i end up taking it out on myself by hitting my face very hard, which I know isnt healthy, but it helps me calm down. What makes this even harder is that i feel like i look very VERY different from the rest of my family, who are generally considered pretty attractive. i mean i dont even feel like I need to look “perfect” or whatever, but i really just wish i could look normal or atleast not feel this distressed about my appearance. Because of this i will always go out of my way to avoid being photographed. When I do find myself in pictures, i always feel embarrassed having to ask people to remove them, i feel super lame and weird. Ive been in therapy for a few years for this and many other issues, but i still feel stuck and unsure how to handle these situations or manage the intensity of my reactions.. I really just wanna feel normal and be able to partake in photos. This can affect me for days, sometimes weeks, sometimes even months. I prevent myself from going out. Has anyone else experienced something similar? If so, how do you cope with it or communicate your boundaries with others? Or atleast try not to think too much about it.