Script for Live Table Read: "A Bronx Tale" Season 9, Episode 13
After hours of internet searching, I was unable to find a script for this beloved scene, and painstakingly rewatched it over and over until I captured all the magic. Maybe you're hosting a party soon and want to use it, too! Enjoy.
"A Bronx Tale” | Real Housewives of New York | Season 9, Episode 13
The ladies are dining at Zero Otto Nove in the Bronx, which specializes in Southern Italian and Neapolitan cuisine. The lunch goes off the rails when an inebriated Dorinda relentlessly attacks Sonja Morgan over a failed business dispute.
<<AND ACTION>>
Bethenny Frankel: she looks like a zookeeper! The only person who got the memo is Dorinda who showed up wasted. She understands... where we are.
(Bethanny talking to server) Ok to start, the pizza, the eggplants, the bongola and then we’ll keep it moving.
Carol: You’re drinking wine?
Tinsley: I’m having wine! We’re having wine!
Dorinda: Hey Carol? You promised me you would drink, Carol.
Bethenny: She’s working. She’s working. She has a safari tour at 3!
Dorinda: What’s a safari tour? What are you doing at 3?
Carol: She’s kidding.
Dorinda: (snaps) I’m not that quick yet!
Carol: (awkward laughter) hahahah
>>STAGE NOTES: SERVER BRINGS OUT PIZZA, PUTS SLICES ON PLATES<<
Bethenny: That’s gorgeous. That one looks good. What’s on that one? That’s Pancetta?
Dorinda: Oh yes!
Luann: Oh wow. That would be great.
Dorinda: That’s delicious
Luann: Perfect.
Bethenny: Have you gone skiing yet this year?
Luann: uh, no. i might go in March
Bethenny: Have you ever been to Vermont skiing?
Luann: I grew up in Connecticut.
Bethenny: I wanna go. Carol and I were talking about going to Vermont. Just she might read, she might not ski, I want to snowboard, we just want to go, it'll be easy
Tinsley: Let’s do it. I wanna go!
Dorinda: I would love to go.
Sonja: I used to be a good skier but now I’m scared. I like to go. If we could get an instructor, I’m going!
Bethenny: Then you’re going.
Sonja: I’m there! I’m there!
Luann: Are we not having Ramona come?
Dorinda: We have to have Ramona come.
Bethenny: I don’t know, I don’t own Vermont. I mean, none of you were in that room with me either time.
Luann: Yeah, no. We weren’t.
Bethenny: No, if someone came in and just basically decimated everything that you are, that you’ve worked for, or that you have been…
>>FLASHBACK TO BETHENNY AND RAMONA ON COUCH HAVING A HEATED ARGUMENT<<
Ramona: you were topless, you had sex on a waterbed, you kissed another woman and you know what I never mentioned that but you want me to mention it, now i’ll mention it
Bethenny: MENTION IT ALL! (opens legs) MENTION IT ALL. Cuz you know what
Ramona: oh bitch
Bethenny: I fucking earn my own living. You don’t even work!
Ramona: I make money. You didn’t even have any money until you fucked
>>FLASHBACK OVER. WE RETURN TO THE BRONX RESTAURANT. <<
Bethenny: I don’t want to say I feel badly for her it just really said so much about her
Luann: I think she was drunk.
Bethenny: Well that’s truth serum. Alcohol is truth serum.
Dorinda: So she was angry about something. She was angry.
Bethenny: Well, it’s been one thing after another. She’s just been out for me and it’s been time and time again. She ripped Sonja for the Tipsy Girl thing when she was in business with the guy first.
<<CUT TO A 2016 DINNER WHERE RAMONA IS TALKING ABOUT TIPSY GIRL>>
Ramona: Sonja always come up with these crazy cockamemie businesses that mean bullshit they mean nothing
Sonja: I would like to announce my new Prosecco - everyone that knows me knows I drink a lot of prosecco! So to the Tipsy Girl (cheers)!
>>CUT TO ANOTHER FLASHBACK COCKTAIL PARTY RAMONA IS TALKING TO BETHENNY <<
Ramona: Do you think she even knows what she is doing?
Bethenny: Yes, I do.
Dorinda: Yes, she does.Yes she does.
Bethenny: You wrote to me yesterday, she’s very cunning
Dorinda: she doesn’t care
Ramona: she is cunning.
<<CUT BACK TO BRONX RESTAURANT>>
Sonja: Ramona did laugh and mock me and she said I was crazy. Dorinda and Ramona both wanted to do Tipsy Girl
Dorinda: I swear Sonja Morgan, I have never wanted to be part of Tipsy Girl. That guy Peter has called me 5 times.
<<FLASHBACK TO SONJA TIPSY GIRL PARTY>>
Dorinda (to Peter): You have a little lipstick on you now.
Ramona: That was me, I’m sorry.
Dorinda: we hope it’s you
<<END FLASHBACK, BACK AT BRONX RESTAURANT>>
Sonja: He met with John who said you were totally onboard for all of it.
Dorinda: No, Absolutely not.
Sonja: And I have the text.
Dorinda: Well, show it to me.
Sonja (goes to grab phone out of purse): Well, I will.
<<CUT TO SONJA ONE-ON-ONE INTERVIEW>>
Sonja: I have this text that Dorinda’s boyfriend John sent to Peter saying ‘Dorinda, she’s in 100%’. My point is she was interested in doing it, Ramona was. So they could’ve told Bethenny that they never in a million years thought she’d get so upset about the name.
<<BACK AT BRONX RESTAURANT>>
Bethenny (to Sonja): They called it a cheater brand. I am completely insulted and I don’t want anything to do with you.
Dorinda: I never wanted to be part of Tipsy Girl I never even talked to Peter about being Tipsy Girl.
Sonja (reading text): John said “totally onboard they had a lunch!”
Dorinda: It’s total bullshit. So stop with This bullshit.
Luann: I know, but there’s other people around.
Dorinda: I’d rather chew my right leg off than be a part of Tipsy Girl; you think I need that shit? Tipsy Girl?
<<CUT TO ONE-ON-ONE CONFESSIONAL WITH DORINDA>>
Dorinda: I have never had anything to do with Tipsy Girl. But as usual, Sonja has to go backwards and bring up this ridiculous lie again.
<<CUT BACK TO BRONX RESTAURANT>>
Bethenny: You shouldn't be in business with him and that brand. You’re not gonna make any money and he’s spinning your wheels. This idiot has gone to everybody.
Dorinda: Show me the text! Read the text. Show me!
Luann: She said she sent you the text
Sonja: You saw where John Bedesky said I spoke to Dorinda and…(interrupted)
Dorinda: I don’t care! I’m not married to John Mahdessian and John Mahdessian doesn’t run my estate. He doesn’t have a. I don’t care if John Mahdessian runs Tipsy Girl
Bethenny: Tipsy Guy!
Dorinda: I don’t care if John wants to be Tipsy Guy ! Have at it! I don’t pay his bills. I don’t live with him! John Mahdessian is…good news….I’M FREE!
<<CUT TO ONE-ON-ONE CONFESSIONAL WITH CAROL>>
Carol: I’ve gotta be honest, I love it. This is my favorite part. When Dorinda is bad, she is so good.
<<CUT BACK TO BRONX RESTAURANT>>
Carol: I think you owe Dorinda an apology.
Sonja: I’m telling Connor right now.
Carol: You owe Dorinda an apology.
Sonja: NO! Dorinda wanted to do Tipsy Girl. And I told you…
Dorinda: Oh, come on! Now you need to back that shit up and take it back right now.
Sonja: And then she came to me for Tipsy. And I said yes to Tipsy! She eventually said yes to Tipsy!
Dorinda: You better take it back Sonja. You better take it back!
Sonja (speaking over Dorinda): No! And I told you…and then she came to me for Tipsy and she said yes to Tipsy!
Dorinda: you’re bankrupt! Yeah, you’re fraud. Hostess with the mostess
Bethany: We’re not dressed for this.
Carol: They’re animals!
Sonja: Oh wow, you’re really a business woman!
Dorinda: CLIP! CLIP! CLIP! CLIP! YOU FOOL.
>>CUT TO ONE-ON-ONE CONFESSIONAL WITH BETHENNY>>
Bethenny: CLIP! I don’t know what that means. I guess it means shut your fucking mouth. CLIP!
>>BACK TO BRONX RESTAURANT>>
Dorinda : Here’s my coat. Go get my coat for me. I have a coat check (hands coat check ticket at Sonja). I have a coat, It’s a fur! Hostess with the Mostess (points to crotch)
Bethenny: she said Hostess with the Mostess! (laughs into napkin)
Carol: Is this what you meant by gangster lunch?
Dorinda: Well she doesn’t have to try to belittle me by saying I was only doing hostess.
Dorinda: You belittle me by saying I’m involved with something I’m not involved with. You have no right to speak on my behalf
Bethenny: (shaking head looking at Dorinda) you went right back in….
Sonja: You didn’t tell me you were interested in the Tipsy Girl.
Dorinda: I never told Bethanny! Ok.
Sonja: I wanted to do the Tipsy
Bethenny: In all fairness, she didn’t mock you for doing it. Ramona did!
Dorinda: I never said a word. I was proud of you. I was happy for you. Do you know with all this shit you said about me, I never spoke poorly about her.
Carol: No, it’s true. she didn’t. When you were going on your media press tour…
Dorinda: Never! Never!
Sonja: Let’s start with all the reasons you didn’t invite me at the Berkshires. You gave five flimsy reasons that were not true.
Dorinda: I’m not about going backwards, asswipe.
Bethenny: Alright Sonja, let’s stop this shit now. Nobody cares and it’s so stupid and it’s embarrassing for you. We’ve got to try to let it go, Elsa.
Dorinda: i want to say this. I want this to end. I want to forge a friendship with you.
Sonja: Yeah I want to be your friend, i loved you the minute i met you.
Dorinda: I beg you. Let’s move on from this and and and i respect you.
Sonja: Get it off your chest. Discuss it. Give both points of view, and move on. It’s the Italian way.
Luann: Alright, truths. Let’s have some calamari!
Carol: Make sure Ramona knows about Vermont. She doesn’t like to be left out.
Luann: yeah yeah yeah
Bethenny: Alright, I have to go pick up Bryn. We have to get out of here. Well, we apologize for the screaming.
Carol: I apologize for the loudness.
Luann: She says you look like Melania Trump. You know what, that’s a huge compliment, because she loves Melania Trump.
<<END SCENE>>