AITA for Asking My Girlfriend to Hang Out With My Friends?
I (31M) have been dating my girlfriend (29F) for 10 months, but we’ve actually known each other since high school. We were best friends for years before dating, mostly keeping in touch online because we went to different schools, universities, and later had busy jobs. We’re also long-distance, so even now I feel like we’re still learning a lot about each other.
This is her first relationship, while I’ve had several toxic relationships in the past where I got cheated on. Because of that, I’m trying hard to communicate openly and honestly with her.
Recently, my leave got approved and I’ll be returning to my hometown next month. My friend Dean (27M) is hosting a dinner party with some close friends, including Cassandra (30F), who is one of my longtime friends.
Here’s the issue: back in high school, my girlfriend had a bad experience involving Cassandra’s best friend, Maya (30F). Maya blamed my girlfriend for her breakup because Maya’s ex-boyfriend supposedly liked my girlfriend, even though my girlfriend completely ignored him. Despite that, Maya spread rumors and constantly targeted my girlfriend, which left her really traumatized. For your information, I don't know about Maya.
My girlfriend also believes Cassandra talked badly about her back then because Cassandra was close to Maya. This all happened around 15 years ago.
Cassandra knows about my relationship and has always been supportive. At one point, she even asked if I’d bring my girlfriend to meet the group someday. I thought maybe she had matured enough by now.
Last night, I told my girlfriend about the dinner and asked if she wanted to come. I immediately mentioned that Cassandra would probably be there because I didn’t want to hide it from her. I also made it clear that I wasn’t forcing her to attend because I understood it could feel uncomfortable.
As soon as I mentioned Cassandra, my girlfriend said she hates her because of the past and that the whole situation traumatized her. I told her it was completely okay if she didn’t want to come, but now she doesn’t want to talk to me. I'm being positive maybe she's busy with work.
I feel guilty for even asking and now I’m wondering if I messed up.
AITA?