AITA for expecting gifts from my friend ?
Me (21 F) and my friend « Carrot » (20 F) have known each other for almost 3 years, since we’ve started uni.
We have a mutual friend, let’s call her Bee (21 F), and since the first year Bee always bought me gifts for my birthdays although we did not know each other very well in the beginning. It was a mutual gift with Carrot, and I was very grateful for it. Since then I made it a point to offer gifts to both of them for their birthdays and sometimes Christmas when I find something funny that reminds me of them.
Now, Bee never missed my birthdays and even initiated parties. On the other hand, Carrot tends to forget and never bought me gifts since the mutual gift with Bee in first year. This year, she said she would buy me one big gift to compensate for Christmas and my birthday and last year’s birthday. But now it is June and my birthday was in March…and she already promised me a gift last year (which she never offered).
For example this year, Bee organised dinner in a restaurant for a friend and I for our birthdays; we were 6, and I obviously got a gift for my friend like everybody else at the table. Everybody except for Carrot. And she did not get me a gift either. She jokingly said she had no money, which is understandable, but then again I think she could have made something herself.
Personally, I get a job every summer to pay for my expenses during school year but also for my friends and family, events,…and Bee does too. Carrot never gets a summer job because she lives with her parents and does not feel the need to, but always complains that she never has money on her bank account (duh).
One thing that made me kinda mad is when Carrot and I went shopping for another friend’s birthday « Lava » but also for Bee. I already had my gift for Bee and since Carrot was short on money I proposed to make a mutual gift for Lava. She was ok with it and we set on jewellery. Carrot said she would spend 7€ max because she was not really super close with Lava. We went H&M to buy a cheap necklace and she said « I think we’re good », which made me super uncomfortable because…it was really bad quality. But we bought it anyway along with socks.
Then we went to a jewellery shop to find earrings for Bee, which was Carrot’s gift. But then she saw an earring that she liked, which was like 30€ and wanted to buy it for herself (and there’s nothing wrong with that). However, she chose earrings for Bee especially because they were in the discount section and made it « not too expensive » when combined with the earring she wanted for herself. I didn’t say anything but found it pretty selfish.
I recently told her it would be nice to buy me a gift but she shut me off, saying she did not have money and would when she had enough. She now avoids the subject when brought up and I feel guilty because I started this conversation. AITA ?