Not sure how I (23F) feel about certain things!
Hi, so me (23F) and my bf (24M) are dating from past 3 years i.e since college and now we’re working in corporate since like 1 year now. Just to let you know my bf is very humble and down to earth and even tho he earns a lot more than me never shows it off or anything.
So the story is throughout our clg life I was a better student and kinda more sincere than him because obv being a girl lol. But during the clg placements a lot of things happened and I couldn’t land a good job due to extreme pressure of placements (although I did get a job in the last semester of clg) whereas he landed a job in like a very nice company and earn a hell lot more than me and even got placed before me. I am not jealous of him even a little bit infact I am super happy for him and is always proud of what he has achieved. But the fact that I struggled to do good in clg throughout 4 yrs only to land a job of much lower expectations was depressing for me and sometimes still hit me.
Now, my bf’s company takes their employees to off site in different countries. Last year they went and even this year they’re planning to go. I love it for him I love that he’s exploring the world and going out and experiencing all this but at the same time I feel so so bad and depressing that I don’t even have a chance like this exploring the world or going out of the country with colleagues. I feel pity for myself. To be clear my current company is not bad it’s a big MNC and also my colleagues are like super nice but the kinda culture and things he’s experiencing I am nowhere near that and it makes me very sad and bad for myself. I feel when will be the time when I get to achieve things like that like he does. I know I shouldn’t feel like this but I can’t help.
Can someone please tell me how to control these feelings or what to do? It’s killing me!!!