u/Emotional-Cap9870

Chat how do you stop yourself from questioning whether your even a system or not or whatever. Like I think trauma was my cause, but with no adult in my life is taking it that seriously, everyone acting like they would have noticed the identity switches if they were real, and all my dissociation is just my adhd (Which I get time loss is one thing, but fully emerging yourself as a child into a fantasy world, have to litreally fight through my early teen/tween years for any sort of self identity, and my entire religion changing on a whim depending on how real I feel seems a bit extreme for adhd) it seems a bit odd. But who knows maybe I'm just a endo system, or worse I just have voices in my head and manipulated myself into thinking they sometime control my body (I know that's crazy to say, but I'm just kind of voicing all the doubts in my head rn despite them being irrational.)

So yeah how do I stop the questioning?
For clarification I think I'm a OSDD but with no diagnoses I feel like I have no clear way off truly knowing. (Yes I did talk to professionals, so far the best I got was being able to talk to what felt like a brick wall.)

Just wondering, when I was a kid I thought everyone talked to their emotions like they were different people lol. And role-playing as sun and moon became almost like a coping mechanism to express my different selves without fear. Than one day someone from that same community explained to me they had alters, and I went "... wait a minute... hold up". So anyone else or just me?

Note: for anyone who remembers my last post here I'm genuinely so sorry I didn't mean to be rude, that was really dumb of me, I beg for your forgiveness reddit people. 🙇‍♂️

So I'm pretty sure I'm some sort of system or plural, there was a night I dissociated really badly and a alter appeared that thought they slightly remembered a completely different life from mine, this was a first for me. The main thing they first remembered is that they were in some sort of public transportation and it something happened for it to catch on fire. Later they said they felt like they had two kids, a ex-wife, their name was John, and small details of their past personality. The funniest part was watching a transphobic man be in a biologically female body and immediately want out (so becoming trans). Fire for me has always been a symbol of destruction of old ways, and forging a path to new beginnings, I both love and fear fire, but is a element I particularly gravitate towards. Yes I do find myself spiritually aligned with the phoenix.

Note, I wouldn't consider past lives to be part of my religion fully, but I've always gravitated towards it over other ideals. This totally could be me coping, idk, sorry.